


river of blood

by marcosanimegf



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angels, Blue Eyes, Fanfiction, Female Character of Color, Gen, Goddesses, Minor Original Character(s), Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan References, snk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-14 21:41:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 42
Words: 35,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29053032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marcosanimegf/pseuds/marcosanimegf
Summary: What happens when you put an angel in a devil's world? Ceitara was the name of the precious angel. To the public, she was most well known for climbing the ranks in a mere amount of time, but inside the regiment, she is known for her violent nature, and her willingness to protect people, even if it meant killing others. She was gifted with five unbeatable powers: attack, healing, illusion, mind control, and protection. Her goal was to save the world, and it always came at some kind of cost."Sometimes, when you're faced with the horrors of this world, your only choice left is to kill."
Kudos: 9





	1. The Decision

"Are you positive about this?"

Ceitara was an angel spirit who was formed under the goddess Honerva. There were no actual motives behind creating someone new, just that she wanted someone strong to be in charge of the world.

It was 14 years for Ceitara, watching from the sidelines as the world became more and more destructive. People died, leaving behind families who grieved and missed them. She couldn't do much, she was very young compared to her counterparts.

All she wanted was change, and peace between everyone, and not a single person could provide that other than her.

As an angel, her powers were unlimited, not that she had many uses for them. The only important ones were those that she chose: attack, healing, mind control, illusion, and protection. The sixth was among some that she couldn't activate, and frankly, she didn't know all that much on how to use it.

That went with protection, also. Among the angels, she was not known for looking out for herself, rather making sure that everyone else was okay while she risked the consequences. They loved her for that, but the goddess hated how she could be so compassionate.

It would cause a problem later on.

"Ceitara, if you do this, your powers will be compromised."

One in human form, she wasn't allowed to exit until her body died, essentially giving her a second chance. Her power usage would drain her human body, possibly to a point where she could die.

"You must follow every rule on the contract, or there will be punishments."

That could kill her also, but she was more worried about something they call the "weak state". She didn't know much about human bodies, but this entailed things that seemed dangerous.

_"When a modified angel disregards a law, they will be warned with the 'weak state'. Formally known as 'the state of quick death'._

_This entails: mood disorders, sensitive hearing, and bloody noses. This can be easily seen due to the darker color that the eye may have._

_It can last from a couple of days to the rest of the human lifetime based on severity of the case._ "

 _Up to the rest of the human lifetime_. Simply, she would become weaker and weaker until she died.

Due to the angel's private operation, the amount of rules were astounding, but only a couple made actual sense.

_1) Cannot use power for herself (unless using protection)._

_2) Cannot reveal information about angels._

_3) Cannot reveal information about herself._

_4) Must always stay true to name and angel ideology._

"What is angel ideology?"

"Over the past years that you've been here, everything that you have learned, and everything that you go by."

Name was also a question too, but Honerva was referring to what they stand for. After all, she was the goddess of destruction.

\---

**_844_ **

Entering the material world wasn't difficult, but there were some things done behind Ceitara's vision.

She was there, in the middle of a grass field. Her skin was bronze, and corresponded to her dark, shoulder-length hair. What didn't correspond was the bright blue eyes she had. Modified angels had light colored eyes to notice the change when they're using their powers.

Her irises flashed red for a moment before letting her gain full control of the body. She was muscular, and not too short for her age. It was weird how it seemed like she'd spent her entire childhood trying to become stronger when she didn't even have one.

She looked around her noticing the tall walls that separated the large population of people from herself. She didn't exactly luck out with the location.

 _Paradis_.

Afterwards, she immediately forgot those memories, her mind being cleared from any information that being an angel provided.

She instead focused on getting to the Survey Corps.

And though it'll take years, it would help her get closer to the goal of peace.

**_to be continued_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm rewriting the first couple of chapters, so if they seem bad that's because they were written months ago. Also the newest chapters that I'm posting are usually above 1,000 words, so trust me, they get longer. And check out the rest of my AO3. I have oneshots on here.


	2. The 100th Cadet Corp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This book is also on Wattpad! I update on both so you can choose your format.

The Scout regiment was known for being dangerous. Not saying she liked danger, but it was more exciting than being stuck in the interior.

During her time in the Cadets, she talked with many people, most of them whom she didn’t get close with. She was known as the most distant friend, only sticking with the people that she liked the most, or more likely, the people that she thought would die last.

“Cei… why do you want to become a Scout?”

“You ask me this every year.”

There was a certain boy that she always talked to. He was quite social, but also weird. Caring, but also quick to relying on emotion rather than logic.

They met on a mission, that strangely, only they were assigned to. A couple of slip-ups happened, and he saved her in a dire situation once, but after a while, she realized he could be trusted.

She told him about her powers, and that was one of the best decisions she’d ever made. Not only did he find it incredible, he let her test out some of them on him (like she had already been doing).

Her attack power posed great strength against him, too much strength. Due to her healing being too weak, he was posed with lots of injuries that would’ve lowered his score if Ceitara didn’t vouch for him.

The usage of her powers in a human body were vastly different. Because they were limited, she needed to focus her energy into one part of her body.

“Tell me again.”

“You tell me why you don’t want to be a part of the police,” she snapped back.

“I’m from the interior. I don’t want to go back there.”

“You’re ranked pretty high, so aren’t you taking the spot from someone else?”

“Aren’t you?”

She laughed, knowing that no one else could match their strength.

Either way, Ceitara was top of her class, and he was right behind her, only missing by a couple of points.

“I heard Rico’s joining the Garrison.”

“Really? She worked hard as hell for that position.”

“Yeah, but the Military Police are nothing nowadays. We could even get past them pretty easily.”

It was graduation day. There was nothing to it other than seeing Commander Erwin up close for the first time. He was quite laid-back, actually the opposite, though he proposed an offer that was essentially to die for.

Actually, it wasn’t, it was just in her eyes that she saw the great opportunities that this held. Her first goal was to help eliminate titans, which would be the most problematic. As far as she knew, that was the only way she could save humanity.

She looked to her comrade who had an odd expression on his face. Most likely second guessing himself, but he also saw the color of Ceitara’s shirt change. Originally, it was plain white, but now it was a dark-red button down, with a collar.

She was assigned to a dorm with another recruit that she didn’t know. One from the east district, even though she graduated in Trost. Among those two, there were 71 others that wished to become Scouts, and were accepted.

Then the realization that she had to talk to the Commander personally set in.

He would most likely question her actions, asking why she waited three entire years before introducing herself with something as important as this.

She wasn’t trying to be weird, but she memorized where his office was, in hope of not being out of breath when she arrived.

“Come in,” the Commander said attentively as she walked through the wooden doors.

“My name is Ceitara from the 100th Cadet Corps, and I have information that could change the fate of humanity!”

“Continue.”

“I’m referring to the powers that I possess as an angel in a human body.”

“Who are you reporting from?”

“Myself,” she said dully, “But with this, we can save the world.”

_**to be continued** _


	3. Her Powers

She was trying to be threatening. Especially with her stature, she at least looked a little suspicious and serious.

"Erwin Smith, I am angel with powers," she started.

Obviously, immediately he doubted everything she had said. Ceitara had noticed a blade in his cup of materials. She grabbed it and placed it on her arm.

"Allow me to demonstrate" she said, slicing her skin on her arm and flinching at the pain.

While doing so, her irises flashed red, signaling her attack power. She then placed two fingers in the middle of her cut. Her irises turned green signaling her healing power. The cut closed almost instantaneously. After a couple seconds, her eyes turned back to its original blue color. Erwin had a surprised look on his face, which was to be expected.

"I don't understand," he says.

"I could fill you in on all the details, but let's make it reasonable," Ceitara began, "I became an angel from a goddess which you could call Maria. I had 12 powers which are now five since I became human. From my time in the Cadets, it seems that my power can be stretched out slightly to get more usage out of it. I am also under a contract which only allows me to say and do certain things.

My first power you saw there was attack. It acts more as a mindset rather than an individual power. When I'm using it, I have quicker reflexes and I tend to get stronger. If I'm using the power for too long, I can use up a lot of stamina and end up passing out.

My second power is healing. With healing, I can heal open wounds and anything internal . I cannot heal severed body parts, though."

The commander stared in awe of what he was hearing. Someone with non-human powers could change the fate of humanity, but he didn't know how to use her. He had been looking at her eyes the entire time. 

When Ceitara talked, it was smooth and serious. Erwin was able to catch almost everything that she said so far. He said nothing, and only listened.

"The third power that I have is illusion. When I put my thumb on someone's forehead you can see something of my choice. Unfortunately, I haven't found a way to use this without completely knocking someone out, but it still works fine," she said.

To demonstrate, she placed her thumb on Erwin's forehead and gave him the image of her angel form. His head fell back and his eyes shut as if he passed out. Seconds later, he woke back up.

"Did you see that?" she asked him.

"Yes, I did."

**_to be continued_ **


	4. Mind Control

"My personal favorite is mind control."

The commander flinched at what she had said. Mind control, as he knew it, was someone's ability to forcibly make anyone believe what they say. He had read about it in books when he was a kid and used the manipulating technique in his speeches.

"How does it work?" he asked suspiciously.

"Simple. I can make people do anything that I say. I can also read the part of the brain that I'm controlling. As a bonus, when I'm not using it, I can tell who trusts me and who is lying to me. But, whenever I am using it, you would know immediately that you are being mind controlled and you can't do anything about it. It is activated by my own will and looking directly into other people's eyes. My eyes turn black in the process," she said," Also I have a protection power, which I have no idea how to use."

Erwin kept a serious face and contemplated what she just said. Though the demonstrations proved everything that she said, Erwin believed otherwise. He had bigger problems to deal with other than something that could be a sick joke.

"So, angel, why are you here?" he asks her.

"Recently, I became an angel, I saw how many soldiers have died for a chance at defeating the titans. In human form, I can help you directly and report suspicious activity that normal humans may miss," she said.

"How do I know that you are not trying to plot revenge against humanity?"

"I can't lie under contract."

That answer was short and simple, but it had a lot of meaning to it. Ceitara's contract had nothing to do with this fact. Angels (at least under Maria) cannot lie.

"Also," she continues, "If I wanted you dead, you would be a decaying corpse by now."

The mood in the room was still serious, but confusing. At this point, Ceitara had been sitting on one of the cushions the room had offered. She suddenly felt as if someone was watching them. Erwin had started to say something else, but she shushed him, and there was a knock on his office door.

"Come in," he says to them.

Lieutenant Levi walked in and handed Erwin papers, assumingly for the next Scouting Expedition. Erwin completely ignores them and looked dead at Levi.

"Today, I received information that could possibly postpone our next Scouting mission," he said while gesturing his hand at Ceitara.

Ceitara was standing up with her hands behind her back, looking at Levi.

"Ceitara has angel powers that wants to use to help us," he said.

"Huh?" Levi said in confusion.

"Powers that could help humanity," Erwin repeated.

Levi walked over and grabbed her by the collar of her shirt and glared into her eyes.

"What kind of sick joke is this?" he says.

He had almost been choking her, although she's much taller. Ceitara's eyes turned black and she spoke in a low voice.

"Let go of me," she said.

Levi's eyes darkened and he swiftly let go of her. Both their eyes returned to normal and Levi stared at his hands.

"What the hell was that?" he said nervously.

"Mind control. One of my powers."

**_to be continued_ **


	5. The Three Years

**_847_ **

Over the course of the next few weeks, the dilemma of this angel grew larger and larger. Her entire existence could pose a threat if they made the wrong move. But, as far as she knew, the only people knowledgeable of her powers were the Section Commanders, and the additional Corporal Levi.

They started off with many different kinds of tests, one of the most popular being strength tests. The first is where she would go to the infirmary and heal injured Scouts. Her identity was exposed to them, but they swore an oath not to say anything as thanks for giving them back their lives.

Others would include hand to hand combat. A couple of injuries and accidents later and those were removed completely. It was mainly her fault, though. She wanted to prove that she was able to handle her own, and ended up making the situation even worse.

Her powers definitely had extents, and there was no way that you could get past them. Everything was so limited, to the point where she was nothing more than a mere human.

But, they still held onto hope that she would be able to get stronger, and one day past the strength test.

The higher-ups decided on putting her with the Special Operations Squad, in hopes of keeping her safe while getting experience.

\---

“Ceitara, shoot the flare.”

Levi wasn’t Captain of the squad yet but he was a part of it. The middle of the formation was rather boring, but also terrifying at the same time. She would watch some of the comrades that she trained with, or healed get eaten. From that position, there was nothing she could do about.

This isn’t what she wished for, but it was a certain pathway she had to take in order to reach her goal.

The mission ended up being a success for the most part. Without any of her help.

\---

She spent the night sleeping instead of pondering what exactly she did wrong. That was a mistake.

She got the perspective of a spectator, watching the older Scouting Mission take place. She could tell by the formation. It was scattered, the work done by a completely different Commander.

There were titans following them, and a woman. She wasn’t young, but not old either. Her eyes were filled with tears as she pulled the reins of her horse towards herself, motioning for the horse to turn around.

“Sophie, wait,” called a voice.

Miche seemed so much younger, even though this vision didn’t feel like long ago.

“Goodbye,” she said with a heartfelt smile.

 _Sophie,_ Ceitara said to herself.

She wished she wasn’t visioning something like this, but it only got worse from there.

Every droplet of blood fell to the ground when Sophie’s body was torn to shreds, being eaten alive by titans.

_How cruel._

How cruel that someone who gave up their life for the better ended up dying in the worst possible way.

It was less of a dream and more of a second reality when she awoke. There was a need to vomit after what she just saw and unwanted tears along with it.

\---

**_849_ **

“Due to the events of the past Scouting Mission, many of our comrades have been lost. That includes our Captain, which means that we have to appoint a new one. Making you, Ceitara, the new Captain.”

The woman with dull eyes, rather the girl. She was so much younger than others and her appointment raised questions within and outside of the regiment. Apparently, it was too soon that someone of her class be raised to such a high position.

She wasn’t Captain of the Special Operations Squad, but rather the squad that led all of the missions, therefore making her the highest ranking in the entire regiment.

\---

“Cei! Could you handle that?”

He was referring to the titan that was in front of them, blocking the rest of the formation from continuing. It was a major problem, being an abnormal, and all. It was something but ten meters tall, blonde hair and arms folded on top of its body.

She wanted to try something different, so she took her gear to face the titan directly then circled around back to try and kill it. She engaged her gas, moving quickly to slice its neck. But, right before, it stopped moving completely. She panicked and ended up twisting her arm to hold herself up.

\---

“Why can’t you just heal it?”

It hurt like hell, so they decided to stop at the nearest station to wrap it in bandages. It turned out that the fracture was located in her shoulder and would take weeks to heal.

“If I do, I’ll go into a weakened state. Here, I’ll pass out, but I’ll do it when we get back.”

Ultimately, the Scouting Mission would be determined to be a fail without her leadership, and everyone retreated.

_**to be continued** _


	6. Argument

After the mission, Ceitara was called into Erwin's office.

"So tell me," he said, "what are you actually here for?"

Ceitara looked at him confused.

"What?"

"What are your intentions with the Scout Regiment.... and the rest of humanity... Why are you here?" he repeated.

"To save humanity from the titans...." she looked down and thought about what he said, "What are you thinking, Erwin?"

"Nothing in particular. Just the fact that after all of the experimenting and training that we've done, you still can't kill a titan correctly. I'm not mad and I'm not going to take your position away, I just want to know what we did wrong."

"Do you want to know the answer to that question or are you just trying to take your anger out on me?" she asked rhetorically, "The titan was an abnormal, so I couldn't properly predict its movements."

"You'll be taking off the next Scouting Mission," he said blankly, "We aren't using the usual formation so there's no need for someone to take your place."

"Yeah, I know," she said before walking out.

\---

That night, again, she had the same dream about Sophie. The dream had gradually became more uncomfortable as it went on. Instead of vomiting this time, Ceitara sobbed about it. Though, she still thought that it had no significant meaning to it, so she didn't tell anyone about it, or something told her not to.

"Sophie, who are you? And why are you in my dreams?"

_I can't even sleep without something haunting me._

\---

The 56th Scouting Expedition came around soon enough. Ceitara had healed her arm, but it caused her a lot of fatigue and pain for those two weeks, even up to now.

Before the Scouts left their base, Ceitara stood outside with them as they got their horses ready.

"You don't look like you need me today," she says to Erwin.

"You're technically injured, it's better if you were to stay back," he says.

"That's not why you're keeping me back, is it?" she asks without looking him in the eyes.

"The recruits are joining today," he said, avoiding the question, "When you're done resting you can go visit them if you'd like... but I'd prefer if you didn't, though, and rested the whole day."

"Commander, what are you hiding?"

He hesitated to speak again.

"I don't know if you feel that, but something is really off. The air is too still and I don't feel anything today. That would be a good thing, but it's like we're in the eye of the storm," he said.

He places his hand on her shoulder.

"Don't die while I'm gone," he said sounding rather serious.

"You either."

She walked over to Hange who was looking around.

"Hange!" she said to get their attention, "Anything mesmerizing you see?"

"Everything is strange today, you can feel it in the air."

Ceitara ignored their comment and patted their shoulder while waving to Moblit and Abel.

"Good luck," she whispered.

Ceitara watched as the Scouts left for the Trost gate. The most depressing part was that some of the people wouldn't make it back alive, if they made it back at all. She glanced at Miche, remembering that the dream had came the night before.

She had been a secret to the Scouts for so long. It had been senseless to not use all of her powers to the best of her abilities. What was even worse was not letting her go on missions.

Ceitara had originally decided to rest, but out of fear of getting the dream again, she decided to go visit the Cadets.

 **_to be_ ** **_continued_ ** ****


	7. The Breach in Trost District

Ceitara put on all of the heavy gear and set out for the outer wall of Trost District. The cape made her look pretty majestic already, but she wanted to make sure there was an effect. She flew up the wall with her gear, struggling and already regretting that she didn't listen to Erwin.

"It's a beautiful view from up here," she said aloud.

The Cadets watched as she rose and turned to face them. Her face was strangely familiar to them although they've never seen her in person before. She smiled at them and walked over. One of the Cadets immediately saluted.

"Captain Cei!" he yelled, "It's a pleasure to be in your presence!"

She smirked and chuckled quietly.

"You don't have to be so professional with me," she put her hands on his shoulders and looked down to him, "What's your name, Cadet?"

"Eren. Eren Jaeger, " he responded.

"I like you Eren. I want you on my team."

His eyes lit up in excitement. Before he could say anything, She walked towards the other people in the group.

"Are any of you looking to join the Scouts?" She asked the group.

It seemed that they all wanted to, but there was hesitation in their voices.

"All of you? That's a first! Well I'll see you all there!"

Ceitara waved to them, with no trace of the disappointment she was feeling, walking to the other squads who were reinforcing.

As she walked, there was no pace at all, and no sound. Just silence like when she would wake up from her Sophie dream. She stopped walking and could feel the air stopping it's motion.

 _No Erwin, this was the eye of the storm_ , she thought to herself.

There was a shock of yellow lightning which hurt her already sensitive ears. The wind from the outside knocked her out for barely a second and off the wall. The once still air was forcefully hitting against her back.

There was a hole in the Trost Gate and everyone was thinking the same thing: This is going to be just like the fall of Wall Maria.

The abnormally-sized titan knocked the cannons off of the wall as one of the Cadets went back up to fight it. She couldn't tell which one it was, but they failed miserably when the titan disappeared.

She struggled coming up the wall, but as usual, didn't worry about herself or how much her body could take.

"Is everyone okay?" she said as she rushed over to them.

"Yeah, except Eren who went right after the Colossal."

There was no reaction to that. Quite frankly, She didn't know how to react. Should she be worried like she is with everyone else? Or Should she praise him for his bravery? The decision wasn't made before one of the members of the Advance team came up to them. Everyone stood in salute to him.

"Operation Colossal Titan Response is in effect, I expect you to all take part! Report to HQ! " he said.

The soldier looked at her weirdly as to why she was saluting to him.

"Thank you for your service," she nodded.

As she left they questioned why she didn't join the advance team. They hadn't asked her to, but the answer was simple: she was too weak and titan killing wasn't the agenda for the day.

At HQ, she was assigned to the rear guard along with some other Garrison and a Cadet named whom she called Ackermann.

"I hope you all know that going into this the advance team was wiped out."

She wasn't the least bit surprised by this and it was included in the reasons why she wouldn't join the Advance squad. Ceitara was assigned to lead her squad, Who contained the most elite soldiers.

"Listen up, "she spoke to them, "I don't really have any orders for you except focus on getting to the other side of the district. I'm not exactly in top shape, but judging by the timing, the evacuation will be done in a couple of hours. All you need to do by then is hold off until then."

The speech wasn't exactly inspirational, but it got the point across.

Waiting on top of the building for the signal, she pulled her blades out. The more she thought into it, the more worried she became.

_No, this won't be like wall Maria. You were just a weak, 15 year-old back then. It's different now._

**_to be continued_ **


	8. Cadets and a Merchant

She felt the familiar thrill of fighting titans after approaching one to kill it, eventually losing track of how many as a result of her attack power using her strength. Her sleeve soon became soaked from the blood exiting her nose.

\---

A couple hours later, the evacuation bell still hadn't rung and ahead of them was an abnormal who went right for the citizens at the inner gate.

"I got it! " she yelled out while propelling herself forward to cut through the titan's neck.

It was moving quickly, but unlike the other one that broke her arm, she was able to predict its movements with no problems. Standing on the back of the titan's head as it fell, there was a wagon that seemed to be stuck in the gate, not allowing citizens to leave.

"Are you kidding?" she said as they stared in shock.

With her blades in hand, she started to walk over.

"You're delaying the evacuation, causing more of my comrades to die."

There was no emotion to her voice, but she felt like screaming from the back of her throat. There were too many dead already.

The two who seemed to be guards made their way towards her. She put the blades to the sides of their necks and cut through the three layers of skin. She walked up to the merchant and placed one of the blood-covered blades on one the side of his neck, but not enough to cut him.

"Move the cart," her eyes narrowed and the blade started moving deeper into his neck, "or I'll kill you."

Her eyes were deep red and threatening. Her nose started to bleed again, but she didn't care enough to wipe it.

"Move the cart out, dammit!" he yelled at the people working in front of it.

She relaxed her eyes in satisfaction and took her sleeve to wipe the blood. They took out the cart, which finished the evacuation. As she went back on top of the building, the headache she already had was starting to become worse. She was getting weaker and weaker by the second.

"You guys can go over the wall, I'm going to help the vanguard exit the area," she said to them.

"Are you sure? You 're nose keeps bleeding and-"

"No man left behind, right?" she smirked at him.

"Let me come with you!" a feminine voice called out.

There were only two women on the squad including Ceitara. Ackermann was more than capable of helping the situation, if it did go south.

"Fine."

The well-awaited droplets of rain fell from the sky. She hooded in response as they used their gear in the rain, a common occurrence for a Scout.

\---

The Cadets were crowded in an area across two buildings. She retracted her gear and landed right in the middle of it.

"What's the problem here?" she asked the nearest soldier.

He tried to get up to salute, but she pushed him back down.

"No, sit. Just tell me what happened."

He looked at her with surprised eyes. All of the Cadets were probably traumatized by the events beforehand and any more pressure could cause potential problems.

"Titans surrounded HQ so we don't have enough gas to get over the wall," he said.

She looked up at HQ, which was covered in titans. She squeezed the tip of her bleeding nose and tilted her head back. An annoyed smile spread across her face.

_That was Woreman's group, right?_

Instead of absolutely flipping out, she let out a high-pitched chuckle.

Everyone was looking as to who could laugh in this situation. They were all staring death in the eye and gave up on avoiding its gaze.

"W-why are you laughing?"

Hysterical laughing was something she did a lot. When she felt extreme emotion, she would laugh it off until she started to sob, or until she could calm herself. It was a skill she developed after the fall of Wall Maria to deal with the mental anguish that came with it.

**_to be continued_ **


	9. Stuck

She wiped her bloody nose again and walked to the edge of the building in the direction of HQ.

"I'm going to HQ. I'll kill the titans and you all will get gas to get over the walls," she announced loudly.

"Wait... you can't! your nose is bleeding and you're sick-"

"I know that. That's why I'm betting on dying."

She was speaking to the Cadet she was talking to before, but she said it to  
everyone, turning around to face HQ.

"Are you really willing to give up your life? So easily?"

She turned her head the other way to face the Cadet that spoke to her.

"If I die, but successfully kill the titans, that means you can get your gas and live, right?"

"Yes—but you can't do it by yourself."

"If you want me to live that badly, then join me," she threatened.

"Are you not afraid to die or something?"

\---

"Don't die while I'm gone," he said with a small smile.

\---

"No, it's not that... If any of you would like to help, follow me," she yelled.

She jumped off the building and used her gear to perpel herself upward onto the next.

The Cadets behind her were against it, until Mikasa ran off the building to follow Ceitara. Then the chain started. Soldier after soldier followed after her.

"Try to avoid the titans!" she yelled at them, hoping that they would listen.

Instead, Mikasa went ahead and killed the titans infront of them. She was faster  
than Ceitara, meaning something had to be wrong.

"Ackermann!" Ceitara yelled out before Mikasa fell to the ground out of their sights.

She stopped on top of a building, realizing how many cadets followed her.

"How many do we have?"

She used her eyes to move around Cadet's faces.

"Captain?"

"Hmm?"

"Could I go help Mikasa?"

"No, stay with me."

"But-"

"I said no," she dropped the dull blades and picked up new ones, "Look, I get you're in love with her but two soldiers already went after her and I can't risk losing any more of you."

A light blush appeared on his face. She counted a total of 26 Cadets.

"It's not like-"

"Let's go! "she yelled at all of the Cadets.

They took off once again, avoiding titans through the buildings. She tried to use as little gas as possible to show the route for the Cadets to take and flipped through her gear, carefully watching her steps as she moved the air so she couldn't hurt her ankle.

Blood ran through her nose as her ears started to ring at the sound to gear constantly being used behind her. Her headache gradually got worse as she moved forward.

By now, they were close to headquarters. Taking a quick look behind her, she still saw Cadets, almost all of them. She used her elbows and knees as a barricade to hit the glass, then harshly falling to the ground, exhausted. It was hard to prevent herself from completely zoning out and running over what just happened in her head.

In front of her were two paranoid soldiers. They looked scared, but there was a flash of relief in their eyes.

She stayed on the ground for a minute, trying to regain her energy, but still trying to look tough enough to not be called weak.

She tried to push herself up but fell back down.

"Captain!" one of Cadets almost yelled as he bent down next to her and tried  
to help her up.

**_to be continued_ ** ****


	10. Armory

"Are you okay?" he asked her.

"No, I think I might pass out soon."

His eyes widened with worry as she picked herself up to her knees.  
"W-what do you mea-"

"Shh," she looked up at the two Garrison soldiers in front of her, "You guys are safe for now."

She put her hand out for them to grab and helped herself and them both up to their feet.

"What's your name?" she asked no one in particular.

She was staring at the wall behind her, unable to focus her eyes on a particular person.

"Who?"

"You," she turned her head to the side of her, "You keep bothering me about my health, I want to know who I'm talking to."

"Oh, Jean Kirstein," he said.

"Well, Jean, you shouldn't doubt me as much as you do. That's an order."

She was back to her strong and demanding self, who she was with the Scouts. It wasn't exactly going to work the same way with the Cadets, though.

Ceitara walked in front of all of the Cadets, preparing to get them out of titan's vision. The titans could still smell them, she just thought it would be less traumatizing if there weren't two gouging eyes staring at their next meal.

"I don't know how many people died out there, but everyone else has twenty seconds to get in here, then we head for the gas room."

Cadets continued to fly through the glass windows until time was almost up. Then, there was a faint white noise that almost punctured her ears.

"Hit the deck!" someone yelled out.

Before, Ceitara dropped to her knees and let out a silent scream as the sound went to the back of her head. The next one was loud as if something crashed into the building. She tried to tuck her head into her legs as the sound vibrated through her entire head, giving her headache a massive shock and causing her to whine at the pain.

There was someone frantically pulling at her arm, trying to get her to stand back up. Once the pain subsided, she gave in and looked up to titans eyeing her down, as if her cape was what they were looking for. She stood back up, still weak.

"Everyone into the gas room! I'll handle this!"

Jean was the one trying to pull her up and the one watching as blood rolled down onto her jawline. There was so little of it, he thought he was imaging it, but she too could feel the warm liquid coming from her ear. He was frozen in place and much like her, he was stuck in his thoughts.

"Your ear..." he said as he pointed to it.

"Jean, snap out of your thoughts and go!" she yelled in the strongest voice possible.

She didn't mean for it to sound the way it did, it just came out that way. In this situation, it wasn't ideal to sugarcoat anything. Before Jean could move, there was a fist that made contact with the titan's head.

"What?"

"Huh?"

They both spoke in unison, having the exact same reaction. Before they could make a move, three Cadets flew through the window. One being Ackermann and the other two being the ones going to save her.

"Captain! We bought a titan that fights other titans and it wants nothing to do with us," one of the cadets said.

Instead of answering, she ran to the hole in the wall to see. The was a titan built up in muscle, looking for a fight with the others. It was so familiar to her. So familiar.

It was like déjà vu. Everything was perfect. The way she was standing, what she saw in her peripheral, the loud footsteps the titan made, she experienced it all before.

She looked back at the Cadets behind her, surprised at what they'd done.

"Well, that solves that problem," she said to herself.

Her ears felt better, though they were still sensitive. The titan yelled, causing her to cover her ears, but they stopped bleeding.

"Good job, guys. We need to go now."

**_to be continued_ **


	11. Guns and Swords

She was supposed to be attentive and focused, but her weakness didn't allow her to. Her headache started taking over her thoughts and for the first time of the day, she couldn't think straight. Her mind was scrambling and every time she lost track, the thought would restart.

"Captain." someone tapped her on the shoulder.

"Hm?"

"I think I have a plan."

He explained his plan to all of them. It sounded risky, but it worked perfectly.

"I don't think it's that-"

"It'll work," she said, "I know it will. But, if 3 or more of you screw up we're all done for. I trust that I can count on you all to slice their necks without problem."

She stood up, taking two blades out and placing them on the ground, then, she took her cape off, which she never does.

"What are you doing?"

"I can't risk it getting stuck on something."

When she took it off it revealed her blood-red shirt completely. It wasn't the color of or for an angel, but it resembled her eyes and mostly covered the stains of blood from her nose.

\---

She was bending down, but the roof was so close she could touch it if she wanted to. Carefully waiting for the sounds of gunshots to puncture her ears again and probably make them bleed, she focused her energy through her arms and legs. Her eyes slowly faded to red from blue as she slowed her breathing to calm her heart rate.

The first shot went off.

She jumped and placed two vertical lines permanently into the titan's neck, then  
waited for the call of someone missing. The wait was too dramatic for the content of the situation. She clicked her tongue, another skill for calming her anxiety and so the call wouldn't scare her.

"Connie missed!"

"Lead it the hell back!"

Connie was the one next to her, thankfully. Letting out a hissing noise between her teeth, she ran quickly towards the titan and jumped up high enough to cut its neck.

It was in that moment that everyone remembered that she used to jump off walls for fun. Not that it had any other impact, it just made her jump higher and longer as well as giving her stronger legs, even though she never hit the ground.

She relaxed her nerves again for her eyes to go back to normal as blood ran from her nose and barely dripped from her ears.

"Thank you! I am so sorry!" he rushed over to her.

"It's fine I was prepared for that," she turned to face the Cadets on the lift, "All clear!"

She sat down in exhaustion and relief, immediately regretting healing her wrist if she knew it was going to be like this. She was weak—bloody and on the verge of collapsing any second now. Though she wasn't so sure if she had already because of some of the missing thoughts. That being said, this weakness was foreign and _man_ did it hurt like hell.

She sat alone, hoping the lack of noise would relax her ears and reduce her headache. She finally had time to go into her thoughts again. It was comforting to her: thinking about the Scouts and how they would soon be back. Erwin and Levi and Hange and Miche, she hoped they all lived but had no doubt they had. She felt comfy and could've completely passed out if someone didn't call her name.

"Captain Cei!"

She picked her head up from her exhaustion to face the Caclet.

"What's up?" she said in her normal voice.

"We were all looking for you. We're ready to leave how."

 _Oh_ , She said in her head.

She grabbed the hand that he held out, and pulled herself up.

There was something off about him. Really off. He was smiling a little but underneath all of it was pain, destruction, admiration, and disappointment. It was a smile full of lies. Come to think of it, that wasn't the only one she's seen. Eren, whom she met earlier, had the same kind of emotion put behind his salute.

"What's your name?"

"Reiner Braun."

"Reiner? I'll remember that."

_Yea, I'll remember that, alright._

**_to be continued_ **


	12. Feeling

The rest of the Cadets headed for the wall while some stayed back and watched the abnormal titan be eaten alive. She flew on top of the building with the rest as they argued about saving it or not.

"No one's going anywhere near it," she interrupted them, "This is something I've never seen before and when you get down to it, it's an anomaly and I don't want to risk anything yet."

Suddenly, a weird feeling went over her, and created a shiver down her spine. And, out of nowhere, she knew exactly what was going on. Titans don't eat other titans unless they're...

_Human._

"Mikasa," she turned her head, "Where's Eren?"

"He's dead," she said as she dropped her head down.

_If he actually died, I wouldn't have asked that question._

It was a little sketchy to the others of how she just asked for Eren. It was also sketchy to her how she knew that was Eren's titan when she didn't a minute before.

Another one showed up and Eren went berserk, biting its neck and throwing it.

Apparently it was a titan that killed their comrade, Thomas.

"I'm guessing he watched Thomas get killed," she said under her breath.

Then his titan then fell to the ground.

"Don't follow me," she said to the Cadets as she jumped off the building, hitting the ground.

Just like she had thought, Eren was in the titan, rather he was the one controlling it. She ran into the smoke on the neck of his titan as he started to emerge from it. He was steaming hot, unconscious, and irregularly breathing. She grabbed him from under his arms and pulled him completely out.

She picked him up and flew back up to where the Cadets were. Everyone looked surprised that Eren was still alive after just saying he was dead, especially Mikasa. Ceitara placed him down carefully on the ground and bent down with his head in her lap. Mikasa frantically bent down on the other side of his head, grabbing his hand.

"What's wrong with him?" she almost yelled.

"He's not breathing correctly, but he's alive."

Her eyes lit up as she looked back down at him.

Ceitara was calm and collected, opposed to Mikasa. His forehead was scorching hot from how high his body temperature was. She retracted her hand quickly and a look at her palm which was burned from it.

"That's not good," she said to herself.

"Captain! " she yelled out.

Ceitara looked up from Eren's face and into Mikasa's eyes. She was worried for him, obviously, but it was more to that, though. Mikasa's attachment to him was borderline insanity and Ceitara could see that all over her face. Of course, anyone would react that way, if they thought that someone who died was alive and breathing, but like before there was something else behind the sudden light in her eyes. It was like a disease and if Mikasa ever wanted to become a Scout, that kind of attachment was the worst to have.

"Calm down, I just need to cool his body temperature down."

_I haven't gotten burned in a while. I wonder if I'll be able to hold my gear properly._

She motioned for Mikasa to give her his other wrist that she was holding. From working as a healer for injured Scouts, she learned that the wrist has special nerves in it and using her healing powers, she can simulate ice and cool down body temperatures.

Closing her eyes, she placed her thumbs on his wrists and gently cooled them down. Her nose bled immediately as she started to lose some of her energy. His body started to shiver at the sudden temperature change. Her head was hung down as she opened her eyes and blinked back the color.

"He should be fine now," she said, letting go of his hands and moving her body so that her back was against the nearest wall.

She let out heavy breaths and her nose continued to bleed--the color getting darker and darker. She was reaching past the limits of her power in her weakened state.

"Captain Cei?"

She recognized Reiner's voice and turned her head to look at him.

"How did you know Eren was in that titan?"

She dropped her attentive eyes and turned her head back in front of her. She sighed without giving them an answer. Then, she finally passed out.

**_to be continued_ **


	13. Garrison

She opened her eyes again only to see someone staring at her. The sight caused her to jump back, hitting her head on the wooden railing. Once she realized it was just Jean, she calmed down and studied her surroundings, not recognizing this area from today.

"Where are we?" she asked him.

"We're inside Wall Rose. You passed out in Trost after saving Eren."

"Eren... where is he?" she asked rather frantically.

"He's still in Trost and surrounded by Garrison. We got a gag order to 'leave Eren in Trost and keep the captain safe' so we just put you here," he said as she carefully stood up and stretched out her arms and legs.

"For the highest ranking captain in the Scouts, you really are weak."

She glared at him, deeply looking into his eyes, striking fear into his soul.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that."

Her face softened into a weak smile.

"No, you took the words right out of my mouth."

Dizziness came over her as she looked for some water. When she found some, she took big gulps to ensure hydration.

"I need-" she took a sharp breath, "-to get Eren to safety. They're trying to kill him."

"You should really try to take care of yourself," he walked over to her.

She took another gulp of water.

"Sure, but there's no time for that."

Ceitara ran off towards the wall, feeling dizzy and breathing hard. She propelled herself up the wall, hearing someone else's gear behind her.

"Why'd you come?" she asked him.

"A hunch. "

\---

They made their way over the Garrison wall and in front of Eren and the others. In front of them stood Captain Woreman and a couple of others she recognized from the attack. She put her hands up to show she was not willing to attack and took a step forward.

"Captain Woreman," she started, "Eren here is not our enemy."

"Of course he's not your enemy! You crazy Scout!" he screamed.

"I already had a bone to pick with you today, it might be better if I were to just kill you on the spot."

One of the other soldiers walked up to him and said something behind his hand.

"Let me explain the situation to you. You have three top ten cadets here, one of them who can turn into a titan, and another one was top of her class. Then, you have a certifiable genius who helped us get out of Trost while you sat on your ass playing cards. Then you have me. The top Captain of the Scout Regiment," she slowly lowered her hands down and reached for her blades, "I would love to inform you that shooting me will result in you getting arrested, even if I was at fault."

She quickly pulled the blades out and placed her hands at her sides.

"Our lives are in your hands, so what will it be?"

He frantically looked around between the Garrison blocking his side view and the five soldiers standing in front of him.

"You're all traitors! All of you!"

She was too weak to use up more energy, killing a person. Her threats weren't usually empty, but this time it was and it wasn't noticeable."

The Garrison around them felt the tension and the seriousness in her voice.

"Just remember that I know more about titan anatomy than you could ever figure out. So trust my words and stop trying to kill him."

"Trust? Someone like you? You must be insane to think I will," he said as he rose his hand in the air.

\---

Trust, it was something she depended on.

\---

She grabbed Jean's arm and started heading towards the wall.

\---

Trust was essentially how she was still alive.

\---

Mikasa picked Up Eren and headed for the wall also.

\---

Her unspoken words are what made her such a great Captain. The split second reactions that she needed in her position didn't bode well with talking.

\---

The Captain's hand was up and headed down to signal the cannon to fire. Eren fell out of Mikasa's grasp going around her and Armin, getting ready to bite his hand.

\---

All she would need to say is "trust me" and everyone went along with it.

\---

The cannon shot

**_to be continued_ **


	14. Canon Fire

It was so loud.

_It hurts._

The sound of the cannon provoked her to take action.

She looked at Jean who was running with her. Time slowed down as she grabbed higher on his arm and they both jumped for the wall making it, but not without loss. Then, there was a sound of lighting. Eren's transformation.

Both Ceitara and Jean laid on the ground, Ceitara holding her ears tightly. She usually had a high pain tolerance, but judging from the short screams that came from her mouth, there was something seriously wrong. The sounds didn't just give her head vibrations this time, but excruciating pain throughout it.

_I feel like I'm going to die._

The blood from her ears were on her hands and dripped down her elbows. There was a lot more than before. Her eyes pricked tears from all the pain. She could barely hear anything. Then she couldn't hear anything.

It was all bare and peaceful, even though the smoke from Eren's titan started to cover them.

She looked around for Jean. He was laying with his eyes closed, the impact probably knocked him out completely.

_Why can't I hear?_

She crawled over to Jean, and shook him just to see that he was completely out of it. She picked him up and started to walk towards Eren's titan. The smoke went up her nose, causing her to breathe harder. Mikasa and another blonde soldier were in the distance.

Coughing through the smoke, she made her way over to them. They were inside Eren's rib cage that was formed after his transformation.

She placed Jean down carefully and looked up to see them. Their mouths were moving, but there weren't any words that she could make out. She pointed to her ear as their eyes traced the blood flow that was coming from it. Slowly, her ear started to feel better, like something had stopped the pain.

She started to hear the quick wisps of air passing by, disturbing the quietness. Then, all of a sudden, she could hear full voices again. It was a disappointment that the quietness was gone. A few more seconds could've put her head at peace.

"My hearing is back," she said to get the attention of the two of them, "I think I busted an eardrum."

"What happened to Jean?"

"I think he hit his head. He's fine, but where's Eren?"

"This is Eren," one of them pointed to the skeletal form of the titan.

"No, I mean his human form. He could get really sick from using the power too much.

"He's still inside."

"Wait. How do you know all of that?"

"That's not important right now," she said, "What's important is to get Eren out of there."

She looked down at Jean in front of her. He'd been out for a while, but it wasn't a major concussion. She put two fingers on his forehead in an attempt to heal him, in front of two Cadets. Eren soon came out of the titan, looking frantic and tired.

"Eren, sit down and save your strength. You might get sick."

She looked up as she said that's revealing her green eyes to them. She looked back down at Jean whose eyes were open, and continued to heal him until he could sit up.

"I used most of my power on you, so my original plan isn't going to work anymore," she had her hand on Jean's shoulder and paused to think. "Here's an order: Don't move from where you are."

She got up and started to walk in front of them before she stopped again.

"And my eyes, you didn't see that. "

She ran off, her figure disappearing into the smoke the Garrison heard her heavy footsteps as she came closer to them. Her hands up again she appeared out of the smoke.

"You're as cowardly as they come," she said deeply.

Ceitara wasted no more time. Her eyes turned black along with his as she now had full power over his mind. Her eye twitched, him falling to the ground at the same time. The soldiers were all distracted by his sudden unconsciousness, which gave them time. However, some soldiers weren't getting distracted, when they left her in the same place. This only gave her one choice: buy more time.

**_to be continued_ **


	15. Fatigue

"I'm begging you all, please don't shoot us! Eren hasn't done anything wrong and he's just as clueless as you... Maybe we can sort this out in different ways," she yelled as she fell to her knees.

"What other way?"

"Talking?"

Tears were coming from her eyes as she spoke. The more she said, the more they listened. Of course, the whole thing was an act.

The southern Commander of the Garrison wasn't there yet. Either he was coming soon, or he was in hiding. She doubted the second one. He had to be there at any second.

\---

"Cei."

"Hm?" she turned her head to face Erwin.

"Pyxis is all the way in the interior today. Meaning, if something goes wrong, it's up to you," he said.

"I think I'll be able to handle it."

\---

She was purely going off of timing and the hope of where and who he would show up with. It was almost bound to go wrong.

_Five_

Except it wasn't. A lot of weird things had been happening that day.

_Four._

Usually, she wouldn't go off of such a small hunch, but she was sure it would work.

 _Three_.

Just like she was sure the plan to get the gas back would work.

 _Two_.

Or how she knew for sure Eren was in that titan, though that was a little different.

 _One_.

This couldn't fail.

"Soldiers, look alive!"

A wave of relief washed over her as she wiped the fake tears from her eyes.

"Can't you see that she is pleading for her life?"

"Hardly," she said in a normal voice while getting up, "Though my plan did give you enough time to walk over here."

She motioned for the other Cadets to come near her.

\---

Atop the walls, they were all sitting to regain their energy.

"Captain Ceitara, I'm assuming you know something about this power, regarding the reports I have gotten, " the Commander said to her.

"I would be lying if I said I didn't," everyone looked in her direction, "But, like everything else, there's a limit to that."

She didn't know the limit yet. The information was just there when seconds ago it wasn't. It was another unsolved mystery.

"Eren transformed into a titan twice, and by the looks of it, he's never done this before, meaning he is weak enough for his titan form to completely lose control the next time he transforms."

"How do you-"

"Just listen," she cut Jean off, "With Armin's plan, Eren would need to be in full control of his titan and his body would need to be stronger. Jean hit his head hard enough for him to be knocked out for a couple of days. He's awake now so you can guess where that went."

"Are you saying you have no more energy?"

"I'm saying that I passed out after healing Eren the first time. If you want me to fight alongside you, I won't be able to do so for long even if I don't heal him," she said.

"So what are you supposing we do?" the Commander turned around to face them.

"Absolutely nothing. We oppose my judgement and continue with the plan anyway. If it doesn't work and we lose a couple of soldiers so be it. But we tried."

 _Not everyone is as willing to give us their life as you are_ , Jean said to himself.

Pyxis announced the plan to everyone, piquing hysteria in both the Cadets and Garrison alike.

"There's no way this is going to work if everyone's hysterical," Ceitara spoke quietly.

The Commander then dismissed the people who didn't want to participate, exploiting how laid-back he really was.

\---

"Eren," she put her hand on his shoulder, "Don't push yourself too hard. It takes more than determination to complete a mission. I know that from personal experience. Make sure to take deep breaths."

"Okay, " he nodded his head.

She walked to the edge of the wall to jump off. Then she turned around to face him.

"And most importantly, don't lose sight of what needs to be done. We're all counting on you."

\---

Then the mission started.

**_to be continued_ **


	16. Connection

_Angel's don't get scared, right?_

Fear doesn't usually strike her, but today it did. She was unbearably weak and there were so many things going wrong already. Unknowingly, she busted one of her eardrums and the other was mysteriously not working, making her go deaf and also making them bleed. But how is she hearing noises?

Not to mention her completely blacking out for almost an hour after saving Eren. Was she just overusing her power, or did Even require more of her energy, causing her to completely exhaust herself. What if she passes out again in the middle of the battle? Would someone care enough to save her or will she be left for dead?

That's why she made a deal.

\---

"Of course I have my own conditions for fighting," she said to the Captain of the squad she was on.

"And what are those?"

"I need to be able to pull out whenever I want to."

"What? That hardly seems fair," he spat.

"If you were in my situation, you would understand. I'm not being selfish and I'm not scared to die. I'm stuck right now and I can't die before I figure out what's wrong with me."

That wasn't the only reason that she wanted to "give up", but only one that she could

up with that quickly.

\---

She used her gear to skillfully swing through buildings, Eren was not too far behind her, the determined look in his eyes unmatched to how much body strength he had left.

The sound of his transformation hurt her ears again, but they didn't bleed this time. His titan was _barely_ visibly weaker, but enough so that Ceitara could see the difference.

"That can't be good," she said aloud, making everyone look at her strangely. Mikasa was the closest to him, so when he went to swing his fist at her, she was cut deeply on the cheek.

"I knew it," she growled through her teeth, "Ackermann: Get out of there!"

Mikasa flew over to the rest of them, with small drops of blood coming from the cut on her cheek.

"What's wrong with him?"

A weird feeling washed over her and she knew how to answer the question.

"Its instincts and his consciousness are contradicting each other... he's not in control.." she paused for a second to think about what she could do, "I think I can help him. If it doesn't work, the whole plan's a bust and we fail. I'll be almost useless at that point. Just keep the titans off of us."

She flew to the other building, hoping to work from a distance. He was tilted down, meaning he couldn't see her. This made her have to move to the ground instead. She made sure she was in his point of view before her eyes turned black and knelt on the ground. His titan's eyes stayed the same colors but she could feel that his mind was tired.

"Eren," she whispered, "Eren, Eren!"

They were seeing the same thing. Eren was a young boy, coming back from collecting kindling and Ceitara was "interning'' with Hannes and the Garrison, though she hadn't been drinking.

"Eren, can you hear me?"

"Ceitara?" he whispered softly.

She had her Cadet uniform on, making him think she had no rank. They weren't physically speaking, rather sharing a dream where they could both hear each other's thoughts.

"Don't you want to be a Scout, Eren? Don't you want to leave the wall? See the outside world?"

"That'll be a long time from now. You're not even a full soldier yet and I haven't started training," he whined.

"Why should that stop you? You have a goal, you pursue it from the beginning. That's why I need you to fight."

"Fight? I'm tired."

"I'm tired, too, but I still keep fighting. When I feel like I'm gonna die, I continue on, " as she rose, the 15-year-old Cadet Ceitara turned into the leading Captain of the Scouts, "I always see the missions through!"

He started to snap out of the fantasy and remember everything.

"Freedom will take a lot of time. But prove to yourself and everyone else that you have what it takes to get there," her tone turned harsher with every word, "All of our lives are depending on you! So prove to us you are a worthy cause to sacrifice for! Show us that you deserve freedom and plug the hole in the wall!"

Her mind was in the fantasy, but her body was on the verge of collapsing.

Eren gained full control again and agreed to see the mission through. Back on top of the buildings there were little yelps of laughter that she let out before approaching the others.

"Eren's on his feet! We need to keep the titans out of the area!"

**_to be continued_ **


	17. Savior

No one had actually seen her get near Eren, so they all wondered what exactly she did to get the boy on his feet. She figured it was because of how much he looked up to her. Strong and passionate, he always wanted to be just like her, but their goals were completely different.

Eren started his walk to the wall with the boulder mounted on his shoulders and the side of his head.

She was tired and sick. Her nose was bloody and her hearing wasn't that great, dying peacefully where she stood didn't feel like a bad option either. But still, the deal that she made could take effect right about now, and Erwin's words weren't the only thing keeping her in this hell. So, she left, or tried to at least.

In the distance there was a titan about to gorge on somebody. They were deep in the city, so it must've been abnormal.

Ceitara sped up her gas in a panic, and tried to kill it before it could hurt him.

She was _late_ , but not too late.

The titan had enough time to stick its sharp tooth into his eye and across his face.

He screamed of multiple things: pain, terror, disappointment, betrayal, it all hurt her head instead of her ears.

Letting out a powerful grunt, she sliced its neck, consuming the last bits of her power usage. The soldier fell out of its grasp and he landed in her arms, grunting in between the long breaths he took. She immediately recognized him as one of the Cadets from when they needed gas in Trost.

She could feel someone watching them, and to the right, there indeed was not one, but three people standing in shock at her arrival.

_Why are they just standing there?_

Then, the realization hit her. She searched for their eyes while her own turned black, remembering a special skill she had. Memory replacement. Memory replacement would feel much better if she wasn't going to die in that moment.

She was overusing her power, pushing past the limit, but the main concern was why she was still awake.

While thinking this, she put the boy down. She was frantic and started to work quicker. Blood from her nose began to run onto his shirt as he winced at the pain. She took off her cape and roughly folded it inside-out. She removed his bloody hand, revealing his right eye. It looked punctured, like a thick needle poked all the way through it, matching the rest of the marks on his face.

He must've been in so much pain.

"Breathe," she carefully said to him, "You'll be okay, I just need you to breathe."

By then she figured out what to fill their minds with: nothing. She needed to switch to her other form of mind control. At the same time, she also decided to make him sleep so he wouldn't feel any more pain.

_Why am I still awake?_

The Scouts were on the outside wall of Trost as Eren fully plugged the hole in Trost. Knowing that, she headed for the inner wall, using the last of her strength to carry him up it.

_What the hell just happened? Why were they killing him? What's his name? Why haven't I passed out yet? Did I replace their memories properly? Where are the Scouts? Is he breathing? Am I going to be able to heal his eye? Why am I still alive? Why am I still alive?_

Her mind was going in all different directions again. This battle was not meant for someone as weak as she was in the moment. It affected her mentally, and that will cause the biggest of problems.

Her eyes were closed as she laid out on the wall next to him. The faint sound of ODM Gear being used was what kept her from letting go. Her eyes met his as he came on top of the wall and bent down next to her. She couldn't even feel the tears pooling in her eyes.

"You can sleep now," Erwin said with a rather soft expression on his face. With that, she drifted off—more like completely blacked out with something itching at the back of her head.

"Keep him with me," she tried to muster out but she wasn't sure if it was a dream or not.


	18. Infirmary

"Reiner! You son of a..."

\---

"Stop it! Eren! Why are you doing this? Eren! Please stop!"

\---

She didn't know why she was hearing this. It was her voice in two separate situations and in the second one, she sounded like she was choking and couldn't get any air in.

Her eyes slowly opened to the Commander watching over her. His eyes lit up as if he had been waiting.

"How are you feeling?" he asked as she tried to get up.

The throbbing head pain hit her, a reminder to never overuse her powers. Erwin handed her a glass of water to which she gulped down, strangely in need of hydration.

"You've been out for two days."

_Well that makes sense._

"Is that a new record?" she laughed.

"Not even close. You were out for almost a week once, we just didn't say anything."

"Oh."

There was a quick silence between them as she looked around the room. It usually took a minute for her to regain memory after she woke up.

"Where are we? And who's that boy?" she pointed to a body laying down.

"We're in the infirmary and that is the Cadet you wanted us to keep with you."

There was another silence as she tried to remember.

"He hasn't woken up yet-"

"On yeah! Someone was trying to kill him, that's why I didn't want him to go with the rest of the Cadets."

She shifted her weight and moved her body to sit on the edge of the bed. She was still in the same clothes as two clays before.

"I remember him now, Cadet rank number seven Marco Bodt. I don 't know why they were killing him, but he's in too much pain to tell us now. I knocked him out, that's why he hasn't woken up yet."

Erwin wasn't pushing her to talk yet, and if he did, she wouldn't answer. She couldn't.

"Did you guys change his shirt?" she asked him.

"We had to, it had a lot of blood on it."

"It wasn't all his, some was mine too, " she said.

"Did you cut yourself?"

"No, it came from my nose. That's how weak I was."

She looked at him again. His eye was wrapped and he was peacefully sleeping.

"He must be having a good dream," she said while walking over to him.

"What are you doing?"

"Do you have any more water? He's probably dehydrated."

Ceitara picked up his body to sit him up. Erwin poured more water and handed it to her. She carefully took off the illusion she had on him. His hazel eyes greeted her blue ones nicely, as if he was glad to see her.

"Don't think too much. It's just me, you, and the commander right now, you're safe with us."

Tears pooled in his eyes and streamed down his face.

_His thoughts couldn't have come back so quickly._

"It hurts, " he whispered, "It hurts so bad."

"I'm sorry, Marco. I'm not strong enough to heal you yet. Just drink some water and I'll put you back to sleep and it won't hurt anymore," she said softly.

She held the cup to his lips and helped him swallow the cool water. It looked like he was struggling. It probably hurt to swallow, too.

"Are you feeling better?"

He slightly shook his head. It must've hurt to talk too.

"Don't worry, you'll feel better soon," She pressed her thumb to his forehead, "Sweet dreams."

He closed his eyes and drifted off again. Ceitara laid his body back down and sat on the edge of her bed.

"You must still be tired."

"Yeah, but I can manage for a while."

"No, you should regain your strength first. I'll be back later," he said as he got up.

\---

It's been a while since she's seen the commander, or at least she thought. Every now and then, she would wake up sweaty and in need of water. The exhaustion eventually took over, making her fall asleep before she could get up to get any. It happened over and over again. It was like she was shifting through dreams.

This wasn't anything new, though. Back in her experimenting days, either she or Hange would push her to the brink of death, causing her to go unconscious. There was always someone watching her until she would wake up, tracking how long she was out.

That time when she was out for almost a week without waking up once, she was constantly coughing up blood and cut her arm, desperate to complete the experiment. It was an endurance test, the point was to have her pass out or give up.

**_to be continued_ **


	19. Healing

After two long days, she was finally strong enough to stay awake for more than a couple of minutes. It was nighttime and she had gotten up to get water when Erwin came into the room.

“Good morning,” she said sarcastically.

“You’re finally up I see.”

“Yeah, it’s been a while,” she breathed, taking another sip.

“You were asleep for two days.”

“Two more? What’d I miss?”

“Nothing really, just that we were scheduled to meet with Eren tomorrow. A couple of more things, too but I’ll get to that later.”

She stood up from her bed and while placing the cup down, stretching her arms out. 

“Do you have it?”

Erwin handed it to her while she bent down next to Marco and took off the bandages on his eye.

“Good thing he’s asleep. Even I would be screaming with pain,” she said quietly.

“His eye was completely bitten out, as well as some parts of his face and eyes.”

“How many times did you change the bandages?”

“Every six hours.”

“Okay. There shouldn’t be as much bleeding, then. Originally, I was contemplating on whether or not I would be able to even heal his eye at all. It’s been a while since I did one, and this is the worst I’ve ever seen.”

“I-”

“It’s so cool!” she said, her tone imitating a little kid, “But- the last thing that he would be able to see out of that eye was a titan trying to kill him. It gives me chills just thinking about it.”

\---

Back in her recruit days, she would heal injured Scouts and either help them get back into battle, or help them walk again. This made her and many others learn how the human body heals and how her powers work. 

The healing power that she possesses will only speed up the natural human healing process. That is why she can’t heal severed limbs or, in this case, damaged retina.

\---

After a couple of minutes of examining, she healed his eye. It didn’t take much energy to, but it was always something that was interesting to see.

“Come look. I haven’t shown you this in a while.”

Erwin walked over as she held his eye open.

“You can see the iris and the pupil clearly. And as I move my hand closer… the pupil still dilates, but he actually can’t see anything at all.”

She put the eyepatch on top or his eye, then continued by healing the rest of his face as well as his arm, which caused her to use up most of her energy again. 

“I’ll be back after you guys eat, but until then, rest up.”

“Yes, sir.”

She walked over to Marco, admiring his younger features. She wished she was that young again. No actual responsibilities, just trying to stay alive. It was quite fun, traumatic but fun. It doesn’t compare to what life was now, and she was only a few years older than him.

She put her thumb to his forehead, removing the illusion that was constantly using up her strength. 

“Welcome back,” she said with a slight smile on her face.

He looked at her weirdly.

“I woke you up a couple days ago,” she stood up and walked over to the pitcher of water, “It was only for a couple of minutes, so you probably don’t remember.”

He reached for his eye, surprised that he could feel some kind of fabric on it.

“That’s an eyepatch,” she said while handing him the water, “You can’t see out of that eye anymore. You can take it off if you’d like, but it looks badass, so I wouldn’t.”

His eyes widened as the memories of the day started to come back. His eyes filled with tears again as he remembered the betrayal. Then the pain that followed after.

“I thought it would’ve taken longer than that since I had you asleep… I’m guessing that you remembered the events of four days ago. You don’t have to talk now, but the Commander will be here a while from now to get the report from us,” she said, trying to comfort him.

_How do you comfort people that kissed death less than a week ago?_

It was true that comforting was not something she was good at, so she left it to her squad members to do it for her. Most of them were older, anyway.

“Just relax, you’ll be okay.”

_I think that did something…_

“Does anything hurt?” she asked as she tried to help him sit up on the bed.

He put his weight on his right arm, the pressure causing pain.

“You’ll probably be sore for a while, but it’s fine as long as you’re alive.”

“It’s them,” he said quietly.

“Hm?”

“Bertholdt, Annie, and _Reiner_ , they’re all titans.”

“What?”


	20. Report

“It all makes sense now… That’s why they were trying to kill you I assume. Because you found out and you weren’t supposed to.”

“They said it was a joke, but after, said I was too sharp.”   


“Too sharp?”

\---

“We’re going to have to kill him.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s too damn sharp. He’ll get in our way. Plus, he knows information. I might be able to pry it out of him before shooting.”

\---

“That’s because you are sharp. It’s a good thing, don’t get me wrong, but it probably wasn’t ideal for the situation,” she spoke.

“I don’t want to be  _ sharp  _ if it's going to get me killed.”

“No, no. It’s a good thing. N-not you dying, but being intelligent. If they wanted you dead so badly, that means that they had something to hide… We can talk about it later, I think I might know what their goal was.”

\---

A couple of more hours passed by before Commander came back into the room. There was barely anything said or done in that time, just Ceitara’s head flowing with theories and ideas about what happened on the day of the Fall of Trost District.

“Commander. Don’t you think it’s late?” she asked him, before he sat in a chair.

“It hasn’t been dark for long, and I haven’t been gone for long either. You probably don’t have a good sense of time.”

“Am I really that weak, now? That I can’t even remember how time works?” she laughed, “You should get Marco’s report first, starting from after we found Eren in a titan.” 

“The Captain knew that Eren was in the titan,” Marco said softly.

Erwin turned around to face her, his eyebrows furrowed.

“I would say ‘I could explain’ as usual, but this time I had no idea,” she stated.   


“What do you mean?”

“It was weird. The information literally piled into my mind within a few seconds. There were only a couple things: that Eren was in that titan and he could get sick if he overused his power.”

“Protection maybe? We still haven’t been able to trigger it,” Erwin suggested.

“Yes, but who was I trying to protect, and if I did trigger it, why would it give me that kind of information? Wouldn’t I need some kind of physical power to protect someone?”

“To protect Eren, you would need to know that he was in that titan. You probably had enough strength to get him as you did, so there was no need for any more physical strength.”

“So basically, protection is just giving me information about the situation. It’s pretty useless.”

“Ceitara, the timing was what made it useless. If you had known that months, days, or even hours before, it could’ve changed the outcome of the situation that we are in… Eren can turn into a titan. Do you know anything else about that?”

“Eren isn’t the only one,” Marco spoke again.

The mystery power: Projection. They had spent years trying to figure out how to make it work. Judging by its name, it was meant to protect. Ceitara only had interest in using it to protect other people, once she found out how it actually works, of course. 

But, what were they even talking about? Ceitara was just a Captain in the Scouts. What’s this talk about triggers and powers and protection? Could she turn into a titan too? Did hers have special abilities? 

Ceitara and Erwin had completely forgotten about the Cadet that was still recovering next to them. He was indeed sharp, having come up with theories about her identity in a matter of seconds. 

“Oh, yeah. You must be very confused,” she said to Marco with a smile, “Did you want to become a Scout?”

Did he? Was working your ass off to get into the top ten for  _ three entire years  _ worth throwing all away? He’d been promised a spot since the beginning due to his optimistic attitude and living as an MP was something everyone would strive for.  _ But still... _

But still being a Scout lingered in the back of his mind. It was something about what Eren said. It felt like he was being pressured by himself to be the best he could, but in the end, being a Scout and working by the people he admired the most felt much more…  _ fun _ . 

Even if he died while doing it, hopefully someone could recognize his body and bury it properly. Hopefully someone would tell Jean that his best friend was dead before he went looking for him. Hopefully, in the end, someone would point out his name in a list of passed soldiers and smile, knowing that he was a great Scout. That’s all he ever wanted.

“Yes, I did.”

“Great,” she said. 

It didn’t really matter what his answer was, Marco was going to be stuck with them for a while, anyway.

_**to be continued** _


	21. The Six Gambles

“To keep it simple, I have superpowers. Not like Eren’s, but it makes me more of a threat as a Scout. There are five. One of them is protection, the ‘mystery power’. We pretty much know what it is, we just haven’t been able to figure out how to use it yet.”

He nodded in half-understanding.

“It’s a harder concept right now, but you’ll get it within time… Even if Protection was triggered, I don’t know how, so it doesn’t even matter at this moment.”

They both turned to Marco in unison, a sign that it was time to give up the information.

\---

“Wait, so you’re telling me that there are three more titans among the Cadet Corps and there’s nothing we can do about it until they become Scouts. Which is in three days,” she questioned him.

“We don't have access to the supplies that we need. The Colossal and the Armored could be any one of them, and we just got off this failed Scouting Mission. We’re going to need more than three days,” Erwin stated.

“Let’s hope that they don’t make a move in that time period. Like they did today... What are we going to do, though?”

_ The first gamble. _

“We gather information and risk everything. We have no other choice,” Erwin said to her.

The usual. The other situations weren’t as risky, though. The gambles that they choose to play would affect the survival of man-kind, and everyone in the room knew that.

“Well, say that the two boys are the Colossal and Armored. Which would be which?” Erwin asked them both. 

_ The second gamble. _

“It’s fifty-fifty, but doesn’t the Armored Titan kind of look like Reiner? I know I’m stretching it a little bit but-” 

“He does, but that’s the only information that we have right now, so, we’ll go with it.”

“So- that makes Bertholdt the Colossal, and Marco, how do you know that Annie is a titan?” Ceitara asked him.

“I don’t, it was just my guess.”

_ The third gamble. _

“We can’t risk her not being one. Then that makes four people that can turn into titans… What if there are more?”

_ The fourth gamble. _

“Wouldn’t you be able sense it, like you did the others?” Erwin asked her.

“That was because they had bad backgrounds,” she said, “Reiner’s smile was weird because there was darkness behind it. It was like I could sense their emotions. I’m sure that it has nothing to do with their titan powers, and I didn’t know anything about Annie or Bertholdt.

“What do we do with them?”

“It all depends on who’ll become Scouts. They’re all top ten, so the best that we could do is convince them that the Military Police are bad. They are corrupt, but they still promise a comfortable life, and everyone has their different reasons.”

_ The fifth gamble. _

This was how their conversations always went. Quick and staggered—switching from topic to topic in a matter of seconds. It was mostly because of how fast Ceitara talks and how her mind works—scrambled in all different directions. 

Originally, she would just naturally get off topic and talk quicker than normal, especially after Scouting Missions. It was hard for Erwin to keep up, but over time, he adapted to her odd ways because of how effective it would be for catching lies. 

“So, we’re gambling on their choice of whether they want to become Scouts, or not,” she said.

“Yes… I’m sure that you already figured it out by now, but they want Eren, so we need to keep them as far away from Eren as possible,” he said, gesturing his hand.

“They also want to destroy humanity. I’m glad I replaced their memories, or they would’ve destroyed the wall already.”

“As weak as you were, somehow you lived.”   
  
“I agree with you that I should’ve died, but here we are talking to each other four days after the fact.”

\---

“We have a couple things to do tomorrow, which includes seeing Eren, then taking custody of him.”

_ The sixth gamble. _

“More gambling, I presume?”

“Yes, exactly. We were trying to clear the dispute of whether we want you or Levi to take custody of Eren-”

“I’ll do it,” she responded immediately, “I just want to oversee the experiments, but having him be around me all the time would be better.”

“Why do you say that?” Erwin asked her.

“Because Eren is different. He’s… I don’t know… special. In more ways than one. Plus, Levi didn’t go through experiments like I did.”

\---

“So, you want me to beat the crap out of Eren?” she said, slyly smiling.

“If it comes to that, which it will, yes.”   
  
“And we’re proposing the next Scouting Mission, which is to capture the other three titans.”

“Mhm.”

“It sounds good, but it's all the way in Wall Sina. So, I’m taking Marco with me.”

“You can do whatever you want.”

\---

_ “Sophie. Hey. Sophie. Wake up.”  _

_ “Good morning, Miche.” _

_ “You’re gonna be late for training today.” _

_ She looked at him with disgust. _

_ “Well… Why. Didn’t. You. Wake me up earlier!” _

_ “Sorry, I-” _

_ “No, no, no. We went over this!” _

_ “I wanted you to sleep.” _

_ “Miche… What is wrong with you?” she laughed. _

_ He was laughing, too. There was no training that day, and there hadn’t been for the past couple of days. _

_**to be continued** _


	22. Military Police

"I hope you understand why I'm taking custody of Eren, Levi," she said.

"It's been a while since you beat the crap out of anyone," he said, "so, I'll let you have your chance."

"You don't look like you want to be near the poor boy, he's not going to kill you."

"Only you would be able to know that, and, frankly, I still don't trust you."

"You're so mean... and... you don't have to. I'm just saying there's no reason to be scared."

He got up, leaving his teacup at the table they were sitting at.

"Where are you going? We were talking!" she called out.

"I need to get some stuff from Erwin, you should go back to sleep."

"I planned on it _after_ we finished our conversation."

"Goodnight," he hummed, his smirk facing away from her view.

Ceitara never failed to make him smile at least a little.

\---

_"Wait! We haven't even talked this out yet!"_

The horrid dream woke her up again. Marco was dying. Why was everyone in her dreams always dying?

_Why do I have to be the one to see that?_

Her eyes were filled with tears and the lump in her throat slowly got smaller. She got up, trying to remove the picture from her mind. But how could she when the victim was lying on the other side of the room, probably awake and thinking about it at this moment.

She headed for the door, grabbing some shoes on the way.

"I'm going for a walk. You should stay here," she said.

He was asleep.

A good walk did clear her head enough to gain memory of the past. Though, not too far. It was sitting with the much older Captains and Section Commanders which always made her day.

When she got back, he was still asleep, and the black, bright sky was covered by the curtain on the window.

"Where did you go?"

His tired voice startled her, and she realized he might've been afraid of being alone in the dark. She sure would've been.

"I had a bad dream, so I went to clear my head, that's it. No need to worry. I'm sure I'll be fine," she said, laying back down on the bed."

\---

"The Military Police are so snobby. They remind me of Levi when he was younger. If you somehow find yourself alone with one... run. They're ruthless animals."

Ceitara had been talking Marco's head off the entire ride to the courthouse. She was no longer fatigued and insisted on giving him advice about staying away from those dangerous creatures who the world calls the Military Police. The weird grudge she had against them didn't exactly have something to provoke it.

"I don't think I've ever been here," she mentioned when they finally arrived.

"I haven't been here for a while, either," Erwin said to her.

The Military Police led them down to the dungeon where Eren was staying. He was behind bars and wrapped in chains on the hands. It must've been uncomfortable, and he's been stuck there for four days already. Plus, the people watching over him probably weren't doing the best job at it.

 _I don't blame them. If I didn't know anything about titans, this would be acceptable_.

She tried not to look at Eren as a poor boy, but as soon as he opened his eyes, that's all she could see. It was an upsetting sight to say the least. His eyes were on the blue side today and they were filled with admiration as he recognized the two people standing in front of him.

Marco was stuck with Levi, who went to go find the other Scouts that would be there for the trial.

"Hi, Eren," she said with a soft smile, "Do you have any questions?"

"Where am I?"

"I'll call it a dungeon, though there aren't any monsters in here," she joked, obviously trying to sway the mood, "I do want to discuss a couple of things with you, though."

She started to reach for her pocket.

"You've been in here for a while, I hope the Military Police are taking good care of you," she pulled out the key with the lanyard on it that was obviously his.

"How did you get that?" he asked frantically.

"Off of you. But don't worry, you'll be able to get it back. I just want to talk about the basement."

She flipped the key in her hand, showing the backside also.

"Before the fall of Wall Maria, you lived in Shiganshina, correct?"

"Yes," he gulped.

"Meaning that the good doctor's basement is in titan territory. So, unless we go on a mission to retake the wall, we can't get to the big secrets... Now, I'm too young to remember if there was a rock in the Southern District, but I remember that day, because I was there... Eren, as long as you agree to it, we could plug the wall in your hometown, and finally achieve the dream of many of the Scouts... What do you say?"

He just nodded his head, obviously intimidated by her presence.

"That's good to hear. You'll be in my custody, then," she said as she walked to the bars, "I'm sure we'll have a great time."

**_to be continued_ **


	23. Blood

_I'm sure we'll have a great time._

Eren wasn't one to overthink things, but there was something about the way she said her words. Maybe, it could've been that she knew about his titan powers, but the whole regiment would know that. It was the way she emphasized the word great, or the way her upturned lips were smiling, like she was happy to be working with him.

Maybe it was because he admired her too much. Ever since she joined the Scouts, he wanted to be just like her. Climbing the ranks in a matter of seconds. Her squad specially made to be led by her ability was an honor to even meet. And, to be recognized by her, or even put on her squad made him ecstatic.

Still there was something suspicious behind her words.

\---

"I'm not a big fan of beating up children, Erwin."

"I didn't think so, but we don't have a choice here."

"I know, that's why I agreed to it."

\---

The courtroom was awfully hot, and it seemed as if it was put that way. The heat gradually rose every second, provoking the irritable mindset in everyone in there.

Eren was swiftly brought into the room, the MPs behind him pushing his back and locking him into the ground.

"...this deliberation will be held as court-martial, meaning I have full decision-making authority, and regular law will not apply..."

Ceitara was shifting in and out of focusness. She's a much stronger soldier now, but way back when she started, she was flipping the strongest Scouts on their back with ease. Over time, a kick would do enough justice to make them give up on fighting her completely. Though she knew how to control it, it was still a debate in her mind on how much strength to actually use to make a point.

The Military Police announced their plan for Eren first, saying they were going to dissect him, then kill him in the end.

Nile was a smart man— _no_ —a cautious man. He wasn't interested in the whole 'having titan allies is a good thing' proposal that the Scouts were into. It's funny actually, he's so intensely scared of something that he's never seen before. Commander of the MPs must be calm and relaxing, not having to worry about which soldiers you're going to need to replace the dead ones.

There were a couple of holes in his plan, just like the Scouts assumed, which led to their proposal. A simple one— use Eren for the 57th Exterior Scouting Mission.

There were arguments to that... _to that_. Believing that they should seal the gates first. Then, the wall cult.

 _The fucking wall cult_.

She looked over at Erwin, who quickly averted his gaze to her.

"How did they even get in here?" she said quietly, trying not to laugh.

"Order!" the Premier tapped his hand on the table.

 _It is insanely hot in here_.

The conversation shouldn't have been as boring as it was, going over the reports in Trost that, thankfully, most of the Cadets lied on, concealing her abilities. It was said that Eren and Mikasa killed three adult men when they were nine.

 _That's interesting_.

It was nice to see Eren try to defend his friend. At least he recognizes her attachment to him. He wouldn't shut up, though—that was her cue.

With a gun pointed at him, she violently kicked Eren in the jaw, almost knocking a tooth out.

_That was perfect._

"You know, sometimes you should really learn to shut your mouth."

Continuing, she kicked again and again and and until there was blood pooling under him. It was too much blood.

"Wait! What if he gets angry and turns into a titan?" Nile asked worriedly.

"You think?" she bent down in front of him, holding his chin up with her thumb, "In front of me? He admires me."

Unknowingly, she was gently healing his chin where her thumb was placed, trying to be nice in a way, regardless of her violent nature. She then punched him in the face out of her grip and stood back up. She was holding his head up with the tip of her boot.

"You sound like you are doubting my skills, Nile. We could test them right now. Have Eren turn into a titan and see which one of us dies first. You have the gun, you should be able to kill him," her eyes flashed red as she tilted her head to the side, "It'll be a race."

She looked around the room, glancing the Scout's way quickly.

"Or... am I the only one in here who could _actually_ kill him... I don't know if any of you read reports or not, but Eren apparently finished off twenty titans before losing strength. That's right, _twenty_. Do you think you'll be able to handle him?" she looked Nile's way, "Do you? I know I can... maybe you should think a little bit before making stupid desicions."

"I have a proposal," Erwin started, "We would keep Eren under Ceitara's supervision until the recon mission takes place."

"Ceitara, do you think you'll be able to handle it?" the Premier asked her.

"Yeah... I've killed people and titans alike. It shouldn't be that hard."

"Well I've made my decision, then." 

**_to be continued_ **


	24. Message

"I think you went a little overboard, Ceitara."

"No, I didn't, I was barely using any of my strength."

"Barely? You almost knocked his tooth out! He was shivering after you finished kicking him."

She simply stood up from leaning on the wall and walked over to him.

"Eren, do I come off as intimidating?"

"Yeah, you do," Levi cut in.

"I wasn't talking to you," she bent down in front of him and held his shoulders, "I hope you don't think bad of me."

With that, she pulled him into a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."

Everyone stared at them weirdly.

"Eren, what the hell did you do to her?"

Ceitara wasn't usually like that, but she was a sucker for new recruits. They were just so young and innocent and they had no experience yet. That's why she liked them so much, she wanted to be them.

"You're still hurting him, Cei."

"Oh, sorry, here..."

She cupped his face in her hands and gently started healing the areas, while her eyes turned green.

"Nothing should hurt now," she turned her head to the side, "Hange must be itching to start experiments."

"Can we start today?"

"Absolutely not. Maybe tomorrow, if I'm up to it."

"You don't even have to do anything, just have the Special Operations Squad do the work while you watch."

"Hange, tomorrow. I have things to do today."

\---

"Coronation starts in a couple of hours. The new recruits must be so excited to join the Scouts," she said sarcastically to Marco.

"Captain?"

"Hm?"

"Could you deliver a message for me?"

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Can you tell Jean that I'm alive? I don't want him making stupid decisions because of me."

"Of course."

\---

"Erwin, I need to leave early."

"Are you trying to spy on someone?" he half-joked.

"No, I need to deliver a message."

"What kind?"

"A simple one."

"Be careful."

"You got it, Commander."

Commander Erwin was always one to look out for Ceitara, especially when no one else could see her in pain. Their relationship was always like that and he was more of a father to her than anything.

\---

The air in the atmosphere was more depressing compared to the one inside the courtroom. The combination of mourning and stress made it an uncomfortable place to be around. The footsteps were loud and the fires didn't glow as much as they should've. There was great loss in Trost, and it showed all over the Cadet's faces.

She looked around for Jean, who was standing by the fire, looking into it. Someone next to him tapped him on the shoulder, getting his attention, then turning to her.

"Captain!" he called out.

"Jean. It's nice to see you again-"

"Have you seen my friend? He's been gone for four days and no one has any report of him."

"I-uh," she realized that the other Cadets were watching them as she spoke, "I wanted to talk to you about something, somewhere else."

"Oh, okay, that's fine."

They walked away from the others. When they were far enough, she started.

"You wanted to know about Marco, right? He's with me now."

"What?'

"I mean he's in my custody. Said he wanted to become a Scout, so I made him one."

"Marco? A Scout? What happened to him?"

"What happened to him is classified information. But, I will tell you that he is injured right now."

"Where is he?"

"I can't tell you that, and I will ask that you tell nobody else that he is alive. It's better to just keep him as missing."

"Why?"

"Because we need to protect him. This is a dangerous situation, and I'm only telling you because he asked me to... I heard you wanted to be an MP. Good luck with that."

"Huh?"

"I mean—good luck with learning to hate me," she walked to his other side, "I saved you and your best friend's lives. It'll be hard to overlook that."

She knew the Commander wasn't too far away by now, and tried to decide on what she was going to say, if she was even going to say anything.

"You should probably get back to the rest of the group. I have things to think about," she said as she jogged off.

She was right about the Commander being close by, he was even closer than she thought, his face noticeable in the dim lighting between the darkness.

"Did you deliver the message?"

"Yeah, I did. He seemed surprised, actually. I'm guessing Marco wasn't the type who was set on Scouts from the start. It'll be amusing to see him grow, but now we're going to have an alternate problem."

"I know that. I tried to get as much as I could without notifying the police... It's not enough, not enough to catch the Colossal at least."

"Do you even know if we'll be able to catch him?"

"Yeah, we will, it just depends on you guys."

"Who?"

"The Captains and the Section Commander."

"Oh... Oh! That sounds fun."

"Really?"

"Yeah..."

Between the past two ceremonies, Ceitara never said anything. She wasn't even introduced the first time around. Her position was gained just a couple months earlier, so it would make sense if she at least was introduced.

"Do you plan on having me talk during this?" she asked him.

"You can if you want to. I didn't plan on it, though."

"It's fine. I didn't really want to say anything, anyway."

**_to be continued_ **


	25. Speech

"Where's Eren?"

"I put him with Levi. I was going to put him with Hange, but you probably know where that'll go."

"I wouldn't doubt that they're around him now," Erwin said.

"Yeah, me either."

\---

Coronation was starting, finally. The first problem was when Erwin started talking.

It seemed like him and Ceitara had the same idea, despite making the decision to be convincing to the Cadets. Instead, he gave them the real facts about the Scouts, the stuff that was always avoided. That made sure that only the reliable were left.

She knew his intentions, that's why she smiled when he started.

"What is the Commander doing?"

"Ceitara, do you know anything about this?"

"I do, but it's hard to explain in a few words," she stated.

He continued on with his speech and glanced at her when it was time.

"I would now like to introduce you to our lead Captain, Ceitara," he said as she took a salute, "She is most notable for climbing the ranks in such a short amount of time. That is thanks to the unbeatable power that she possesses... In usual years, recruits are never picked. But, due to the recent performance of the Cadets in Trost District, the positions are now open to them also."

Everyone gasped when they realized what this meant. Her squad consisted of no more than 20 elite soldiers, and it's technically an honor to be on. If someone wanted to become a Scout, they would shoot for the Special Operations Squad, because hers was too hard to get on. Now that the Cadets could get on, their hope was restored, in some of them at least.

"Many of you know the honor of being on the squad, but not many know the history. I'll leave that to the Captain herself."

_Why do I have to talk?_

She was completely fine with it, it was just that she didn't have anything planned out. Her intentions were to scare them, as much as she could.

"I'll start out by saying that the death rate for my squad is eighty percent."

_Eighty percent? That's crazy._

_There's no way that I'm going to that squad._

"Meaning, eight out of every ten of you are guaranteed to die. Don't be alarmed, though, my odds are even worse... I have a 3% chance of coming home alive after every Scouting Mission. That being said, I already have a subordinate who's willing to take control for when I die, and those are the people who are honored, because their odds of survival decrease to mine... My point is, if you're doing this for honor, be prepared to give your lives."

"Give your hearts!"

It was over now, and she was sure that she struck some nerve in the Cadet's bodies. This should assure the least amount of people would want to accept the positions for her squad, but it will show which were the strongest. Who could overcome fear and take the name as an honorable Scout?

She already had who she wanted picked out, but it was good to keep them questioning.

\---

"You already have them picked out?"

"Yeah... the top three Cadets. It's perfect if we get to know them at least a little, so we know what we're dealing with," she said.  
  
"I don't think it's a good idea."

"It probably isn't, but Annie already went to the Military Police, there's nothing we can do about that. It's better that we take risks."

"I think-"

"Don't say you're against it. We had the same plan from the beginning."

"What if they kidnap Eren?"

"Then, we will deal with it, there's not much we could do there."

"You must be confident that they won't make a move."

"I am."

\---

"I'm back, finally," she said as she started to take off her boots, "I told Jean about your message. He's a Scout, now."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you both had the same reaction, actually. Were you planning to be Police?"

"We had a plan to become some, but I changed my mind last minute and didn't tell him. He was set on it too, but he probably switched his decision because of me."

"There's nothing you can do about it now. Unless he dedicated his entire life to you, Jean's decision was his own, and that's how we need to see it."

She sat down on the bed, placing her head in her hands.

"Tomorrow is gonna be just as hectic. Introducing my squad, experiments with Eren, and a meeting with Erwin. Do you know how long those meetings are? They go on for hours! And I have to follow _everything_ because I work so close to him..." she laid back and closed her eyes, "This one is important, so I shouldn't be complaining."

Did she ever shut up?

The answer was no. She didn't really talk to anyone like this, but the stress was starting to pile up again, and it felt good to speak to someone who wouldn't get on you for complaining.

They were soon asleep in the relaxed, quiet night.

\---

_"Is that the body?"_

_"No, it isn't."_

_"It looks like her."_

_"I said it's not!"_

_He'd never gotten so worked up like this, but Sophie's death made it all come out in harsh words. Yells and screams that he couldn't even control if he wanted to. It was his fault after all. If he just tried harder to make her happier maybe she wouldn't want to die so bad, and she wouldn't have made that decision. And, maybe, he wouldn't have made the choice to go back and look for her body._

_"That's not her. It can't be," he whispered to himself._

_"Miche-"_

_"It's not her... it's not... it's not... it's..."_

_"Was this her necklace?"_

_It was. The one he gave her a while ago. She never wore on missions because of fear of it being broken, but it wasn't broken when his comrade was handing it to him._

_That was the last thing it took for him to break down and cry. Everything would be different now. He couldn't wake up looking forward to seeing her morning smile, or train without thinking about how hard she tried to just get herself killed in the end. The worst was that he couldn't make any more memories with her, just reminisce on the old ones until they were the things that would take over his life._

_That's why love never worked in the Scouts. It was like a curse and it always ended up this way._

_**to be continued** _


	26. Conversation

There it was again. Ceitara dreaming about Sophie and Miche. Vivid, like it was happening through her eyes. It was just so clear, too clear.

She sat up with a gasp for air. She had been choking, on what actually? Her own spit? Or the fact that someone else was in pain. She was weak in that way.

But, she was feeling it too. Somehow, she was transmitting all of his emotions into her own heart, and it felt _horrible_. She felt like she was going to puke up every ounce of blood in her body. There was a hole in her—in _his_ —heart, that would eventually end up killing him if he moved. He couldn't stand and barely breathe, it felt like it would be the end of her life.

That's when she reminded herself that none of it was real. All this pain she was feeling was just imagined to hurt herself even more. With that, she was able to calm down enough to quietly sob in her hand, careful not to wake up Marco again.

_It's not real... it's not... it's not... it's..._

It wasn't real, but it didn't stop her. Dreams always got her more emotional than anything else.

After a while she decided to take a walk again. They always worked, but she wasn't so sure about this time.

\---

She found a cat on her route around Scout headquarters. It walked over to her as it had been looking specifically for her.

"Hey, buddy," she said as she rubbed across its back and it snuggled into her hand, "How have you been?"

The cat quickly averted its eyes to the figure behind her, then back to her so she couldn't see.

"Captain?"

The sudden sound of a voice was terrifying, especially when it was completely dark. Unknowingly, her voice let out a quick scream before turning around and falling behind her. Though, she knew whose voice it belonged to.

"You scared the shit out of me, Reiner."

There was something wrong, terribly wrong. The light from the stars wasn't enough for him to see the front of the building from a distance, meaning that he wasn't just walking around the way she was. She knew this area inside out, down to each step. She could go around the entire area without getting lost, or bumping into a wall. He must've been following her.

"Why are you up so late? It's the middle of the night and you can't see anything out here," she said as she held the cat and stood up.

"I was trying to walk and think, but then I got lost."

_He's not lying._

"Is that why you followed me?"

"Yeah."

"Let's go back inside, then. It gets cold at night."

She started walking with the cat in her arms who was purring and breathing heavily.

"How long have you been out here?"  
  


"I lost track of time."

  
"So, a while then."

The sound of their feet moving filled the air again, until she thought she'd speak again.

"This is a weird question, but do you know the feeling of killing somebody?" he looked at her strangely, obviously questioning why she even asked that, "It's a weird feeling. Like you feel relief for a moment, then complete emptiness. Then, all of the guilt washes over you and you remember what you just did. You just caused a person to die."

He looked unfazed at the sudden explanation, making her overthink the entire situation. Not a bone in his body quivered and she thought she had it all wrong. Until, he stopped moving and looked down at the ground.

"Sorry, I've just been obsessed with death lately and I don't remember the feeling of being at peace."

Another random choice of words from her. She must've been tired by now.

She watched as he continued to just stand there and think, his eyes twitching and his hand shaking, probably at the cold. The wind blew by again, leaving her and the cat she held shivering

"Reiner? Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to follow me inside?"

He looked up from his dazed state with a completely different expression on his face.

"I know the feeling, but it's not as enticing as yours. I just feel guilt and I can't do anything about it."

Everything was just... different. His tone of voice, the speed at which he talked and walked, and the downturn of his lips. He was like a completely different person. She didn't ignore this fact, though she continued to talk on.

"We all feel guilt eventually. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with sonder and rethink my entire life up to that point. What could've prevented me from doing this? I would never be able to figure out a different path to take. In the end, fate is already decided, the end of the world is already decided, it's just up to time on whether you'll get to see it or not," she reached her hand up to the stars, "Time will end someday, and there's nothing we can do to change that."

When she looked at her hand again, it was bleeding red, but it didn't hurt at all, like the edge of a star cut it and she was imagining the blood.

\---

She kept the cat in her bed, deciding to clean it beforehand and heal all of its pain away, feeding it a piece of bread that was lying around. The others didn't like the idea of an animal walking around headquarters.

She couldn't have slept long before, because the sun wasn't coming up anytime soon. Eventually, the comfortable bed was enough to make her drift off into an actual dreamless slumber.

**_to be continued_ **


	27. Notebook

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To anyone who may be confused this story was previously called the angel that changed everything. I just changed the name and cover.

She woke up with a headache, probably from staying up so late. The cat was gone and there was a notepad next to her bed. There was no memory of her writing anything, but it was her handwriting. There were many notes about personalities, dark personalities, personality changes, and how the mind works with personalities. There were so many pages just focused on one thing that she doesn't even remember doing.

_What the hell?_

She looked next to her, then realized that Marco was gone. Her breath hitched when she thought of the worst. Reiner must've followed her there, and then while she was asleep, he kidnapped him and probably killed him.

 _Maybe if I just didn't sleep this wouldn't have happened_.

She got up frantically, leaving the infirmary and going straight to the Commander's office. The floor was freezing under bare feet, and the lack of light from the hallway made her squint all the way there.

She felt like she was running forever, and with each step her body got colder and filled with panic more and more, until she was there. She pushed open the door, breathing heavily.

"He's gone!"

"What?"

"M-Marco's gone! He's not there-"

She looked to one of the chairs that wasn't empty. Marco was sitting in it.

"You were asleep."

He knew what she was going to ask. "Why didn't you wake me up? You know how I get!' He just didn't feel like hearing it, especially since she was yelling.

"Oh thank goodness he's okay," she said while starting to laugh.

  
"It's late, you should start getting ready."

"You're right."

\---

She looked in the notebook again, skimming over the slight differences in handwriting as she got more tired, until she reached the end, which talked about personality changes.

_He could've changed his personality. But why?_

Her studies of the human mind didn't provide information to study personality changes. She didn't do it herself, and she hadn't met anyone who did that, so how did she even know what it was?

The extent of everything is stressing her out even more than it had been before, and she felt like she was going insane over it.

\---

"We don't have long, what do you need?" he asked her.

She was back in Erwin's office, flipping through the pages of the notebook until she could find anything that makes sense.

"Last night, I talked to Reiner. He was acting weird and I'm guessing that I tried to decipher it."

"You're guessing?"

"Yeah. The thing is, I don't have any memory of writing this, or even thinking about it. It is my handwriting, no doubt, I just don't know what was going on with my mind."

"What do you know about personalities?"

"Nothing," she said bluntly.

"Well, right here describes personality changes. It's described as yourself, when your mood completely changes and you basically turn into someone unrecognizable."

"That's not what it was, though. My personality doesn't change, just the way I present myself."

"Since you know so much about it, why don't you tell me?"

"Think about it. The way Marco described Reiner as 'everyone's big brother' doesn't fit to the fact that he destroyed the wall. No one would want to kill thousands of people, then live among them and care for them in a way that gains everyone's respect. That's sick, especially when you compare it to his comrades, who keep to themselves..." she started to pace around the room, "What if there was a possibility that there could be two separate people in the body of a human. Different memories, different tones of voice, different styles, everything differed from the other. That's what I think the problem was. We call it a split personality."

"What do you think would've caused that?"

"Guilt. Like I said before, it's sick to think that someone would actually care for the people they want to kill, but he felt guilty for breaking the wall, and that's what ended up happening. They were what... only twelve? That explains it all... if they're even human."

"That's a great observation, Ceitara, but what does this have anything to do with the matter at hand?"

"It just means that I know what I'm dealing with. Essentially, he's a good-natured person, otherwise he wouldn't be able to do that. It would be much simpler just to call all of them psycho, but the fact that I can't remember just says that there's more behind it. I just wanted to inform you about it, that's all."

\---

Walking down the hallway again, she could actually feel someone walking behind her, unlike the night before.

"Cei."

She turned her head around.

"I heard you got hurt in Trost. Are you okay?"

Jamie Solome. One of her subordinates, and the next Captain of her squad. They knew each other since Cadet days, and he never missed a day without checking up on her, except for the past five. Jamie was pale skinned, with the dark color of his hair opposite to his eyes. He was unnecessarily tall, and had an undeniable love for Ceitara.

"I'm fine, I was just really weak... It's been a while hasn't it."

She turned her body around fully and hugged him, to which he hugged her back, tightly, releasing his worry.

"I'm okay," she laughed, "It's not like before, I promise."

Still, he held her in fear of not being able to do it again. Then he realized that she isn't the same person, and that she could take care of herself. He was always in a constant state of realizing that, and the cycle never stopped. That's when he finally let go.

"Sorry," he said shyly.

"You shouldn't be apologizing. It's my fault that you're this way."

**_to be continued_ **


	28. Suspicion

"I'm putting Cadets on the squad."

"Really?" he said surprisingly.

"Yeah... I'm sure you know that I gained custody of Eren, meaning that I'll be watching over the experiments. I want you to come too, but Hange insisted that to leave most of it up to the Special Operations Squad."

\---

She walked up, with her hands behind her back and proceeded to list out the names of the new Scouts.

"Mikasa Ackerman, Reiner Braun, Bertholdt Hoover... and Jean Kirstein."

\---

"Why did you choose him too?" Jamie asked after the fact.

"A feeling, per usual. I've had many weird feelings lately, and this one was slightly different."

They were both heading to the meeting room, where she instructs her squad. The area outside showed no lack of light, since their building was separate from headquarters.

"What's on the agenda today, Captain?"

"Introducing the new recruits, then sending them off for instruction with the others. There's no training today, because of experiments with Eren, but I have a meeting with the Commander first. So Hange will have to wait longer."

Not too long after, they made it to the building. It was rather small compared to the Scouting headquarters, but it didn't need to be too large. She, by far, had the largest squad in the regiment, which was understandable. All she needed was a chalkboard to go over new positions, and an area outside for training.

"Good morning!" she yelled as she kicked through the door.

"It's the middle of the day," one of them said.

"You're killing my mood. I was in a good one today," she said as she walked over to her desk and sat down, "Say hello to your new comrades. They're recruits, but they get the job done."

"Captain?"

"Hm?"

"What are we doing today?" another one of them asked.

"Hold on."

She started flipping through papers on her desk, some of them signed by her, and the rest are new ones that either Hange or Jamie submitted for her to look at.

"Jamie," she handed one of the pieces of paper to him, "What's this?"

He took the paper from her hand.

"It's about Hange's experimental titans. They want you or someone on the squad to sign off in agreement of being there if they are needed."

She looked up and around the room searching for someone's grey eyes who could do the job for her.

"Laika, do you want to work with Hange?"

Laika Tate. She was another one of Ceitara's subordinates. Laika was a lot younger, and a lot shorter than Ceitara, but she never failed to make up for it during training. Her skin was bronze which complimented her auburn hair and made her grey eyes stand out more. Laika reminded her of a younger Hange, except for how timid she could be at some times.

"Sure."

"Okay," she said as she signed the paper, putting Laika's name down on it, and somehow smudging her finger with ink while doing it, "We can get started then."

She got up from her chair, picking up a piece of chalk and circling to the front of her desk to half-sit on it.

"Carmen asked 'What are we going to do today?' and to that, I say...nothing...This meeting is mainly for the newbies, but I asked all of you to be here for the sake of greeting them..." she cleared her throat, "There's no instruction today because of experiments with Eren, and there's no training because I'd prefer that Jamie was there with me...However, the Cadets have instruction with one of the other squads... I forgot his name."

"Fabian."

"Yes! It was Captain Fabian. He's really sweet and shouldn't push your buttons too hard. It's just formation information that needs to be pounded into your heads, so it shouldn't be that hard," she turned around, picking up a piece of paper behind her, "I'll introduce the Cadets to you, and send you on your way. Oh, and there are other squads training, so you can join them if you really want to get some in..."

She put the paper down, to the right of her, then searched the room for the four Cadets.

"Undercut over there is Jean," she pointed at him, "Red Scarf is Mikasa. The blonde one is Reiner, and the super tall one is Berth-"

"Captain Cei!" someone yelled as they busted through the door.

All heads were turned to figure out it was Abel, an important member of Hange's squad.

"What's wrong?"

"You're needed back at headquarters. Sawney and Beane were killed!"

Her eyes widened and a frantic state took over her emotional control. She worked her way to the wooden door.

  
"Do they still have skin on them?"

"No, it's almost all gone."

That's all it took for her to send a knowing look towards Jamie, then take off towards the direction of headquarters, specifically where titan experiments were being held. Her amazing stamina paid off greatly here, Abel not being able to keep up with how fast she was running. Hange was probably running faster, anyway.

When she got there, it really was almost gone. There was no sign of anything that happened within the past 10 minutes, just bone that slowly disappeared. She tried to look for anything, seeming as crazy as Hange, but that was because she was.

Ceitara realized that there wasn't anything, then she calmed down, walked in front of the two, and then accepted the situation.

"There's nothing here?" the Commander asked her as he approached her side.

"None of this makes any sense."

"What do you mean?"

"Bertholdt and Reiner have been with me since this morning. I never let them out of my sight..."

"So it was Annie."

"How would anyone be able to sneak out from the Interior, come all the way out here, kill a couple of titans and make their escape all within the morning. Our base is just too far from the closet MP Headquarters."

"Are you suggesting that there's another?"

"Yeah, they probably have another comrade, we just need to figure out who."

"Then, the circumstances have changed."

**_to be continued_ **


	29. Security

“Sawney! Beane!” Hange cried out from behind them.

She searched for Eren’s eyes, a sign that he followed them there. Instead, she found Jamie’s who looked completely confused, and a little more tired than before.

“Did you run all the way here?” she asked him when he finally walked up to her.

“I didn’t walk.”

She crossed her arms as the small smile faded from her lips

“You see what’s going on, right? Things are about to change. Drastically.”

“You think?”

“Yeah… Sorry, you've been kept in the dark for too long. I’ll need to tell you eventually.”

“Tell me what?”

“About the situation and the people we need to protect. Eren’s one of them.”

Speaking of Eren, he came through the entrance with Levi and was covered by a cape. She made her way over to him, noticing the ways his eyes were lowered.

“Hey, how are you holding up?”

“I’m fine,” he said, obviously not as nervous as he was before.

“You look tired… Did Hange talk your head off all night?”

“Yeah.”

She palmed her forehead with her hand, annoyingly.

“That’s not good. If we’re doing experiments today the least you need is rest. I could take you to the infirmary if you’d like, and wake you up when we’re done with this.”

“No, thank you but-”

“I insist. I have to go there anyway, and due to my meeting with Erwin, It’ll be a couple of hours before we do anything.”

“Okay.”

“But, before that, I want you to meet one of my closest friends. His name is Jamie.”

It was funny the way that Eren had to look up at someone who was almost a foot taller than him, when Jamie turned around. He shook his hand firmly, giving Eren a warm smile while doing so. She’s seen that smile before. He only wears it when he genuinely cares about somebody.

“I’ll be back, I’m taking him to the infirmary to rest,” she said as she put her hand on his back, “Make sure that Hange doesn’t go crazy.”

“Isn’t that against the agreement?”

“What is?”

“Taking him inside Scout’s headquarters.”

“Yes, but since when did Scouts follow rules? He’s not going to turn into a titan in his sleep.”

“How do you know that?”

“A feeling.”

\---

She walked with Eren inside headquarters, bringing him to a different room than where Marco stayed. She tried to shut out as much light as possible, but it was still the middle of the day.

“This room is all yours. If you need anything, I should be in the building. Sweet dreams,” she said as she closed the door to the room.

\---

A couple of hours went by before she was designated to meet with Erwin. In that time, she conversed with Hange on why someone would want to kill their titans. Jamie was there also, and though Hange already knew the situation, they still listened to the story she told from Trost and the information that she shared with Commander Erwin.

Soon after, the Commander came into the room, finally ready to start the meeting with her. It was just going to be a regular conversation after all, just with official papers.

When she walked in, his office wasn’t as organized as she saw it this morning. The papers were all in a bunch of different stacks, with him having a single one in the middle, in which he was writing on. The room smelled more woody than normal, considering the candle that was lit, even though it wasn’t evening.

“What are we meeting about?”

“We’re going to put all of the new recruits on a mandatory lockdown, right now.”

_Right now?_

The words seemed sudden by the way he spit it off his tongue. ‘Right now’ as he called it, was impossible. There was a lot to get done for him to even authorize.

“What do you mean ‘right now’?”  
  


“I mean right after supper. I’ll announce it and you and Jamie will be in your gear to take them there.”

“I’ll mess up my sleep schedule,” she faked yawned with that,” I’m assuming you want us to watch them all night.”

“If you could, yes.”

“It’s an order, isn’t it? You don’t need to subtly ease into it. I don’t mind watching over them, _if_ you were asking me.”

“I’ll switch you with Miche and someone else from his squad after six hours.”

“How long will we be doing this for?”

“Five days, until we can ‘clear suspicion’, by which I mean get enough supplies. With the time that we have, you’ll need to experiment with Eren.”

He turned around to grab a book on his desk and handed it to her.

“I also wanted to talk to you about your dreams. Marco is a light sleeper, so he can hear when you get up. They must be disturbing to have you weep in the night.”

She was surprised by this, though she smirked at the fact that Marco said something to him instead of keeping quiet. No one knows if she was ever going to say something if he hadn’t.

“They are. They started after the very first Scouting Mission that I was on. I have dreams about this girl named Sophie, and the first ones were about her dying. Miche is in them, too but I usually see things from her point-of-view… After Trost, the dreams started to switch around to before and after the fact, which is strange.”

“You said it was about a girl named Sophie?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, Sophie was actually one of our soldiers. One of our strongest ones too. She died a while ago.”

**_to be continued_ **


	30. Rest

“So, she was real. I thought so… The dreams were too vivid for them to just be made up, but I’m an angel, so I wouldn’t deny the possibility.”

“I only have Sophie’s documents,” he said, “but if you want to know more about her personal life, you should ask Miche.”

“They must’ve been really close. He was always there.”

“Sophie was considered… Miche’s lover.”

“Lover?” she said in a way that sounded painful.

“That’s what all of us said, anyway. They were together all the time, so we just assumed—”

“I get it,” she cut him off, “Just tell me what you want me to do with this book.”

“I want you to look through it, and see if you can find anything that matches what you’re seeing. If _you’re_ having dreams about her, she must be significant.to you in some way.”

“No kidding. I’ll look through it tonight… What else do you need?”

“That’s it. I don’t want to keep you any longer.”

“Really? That’s all you need?”

She knew that he was lying in some way. The things that they discussed were all events from today, and the meeting was planned the day prior.

“What were we supposed to talk about?”

“Nothing important. You can go now.”

_Why was he so eager to get me out?_

Maybe he was suspicious of her. He had good reason, but she still never did anything wrong.

\---

It was supper in the mess hall, and while everyone was in their night clothes, she and Jamie were both still in their uniforms, which wasn’t exactly comfortable. No one questioned it, thankfully, but it still raised some suspicion between the regiment.

After they finished the stale bread and soup that lacked flavor, they went to get their gear, noticing how dark it was outside.

“I don’t understand why we have to go in the dark.”

“Erwin’s orders,” she said, “But I agree with you. Moving outside in the dark isn’t exactly ideal, but that’s probably why he told us to do it.”

“Why?”

“You don’t remember? We used to move in the dark all the time,” she smiled.

“We? You mean I-”

She stopped him from walking, realizing that they reached the infirmary.

“You can meet Marco if you want.”

“Sure, I’d like to thank him.”

She opened the door, thinking that he was asleep, but to her surprise, he was awake, and reading a book.

“Good evening,” she said to him.

He looked up, gently placing the book on the bed.

  
“Good evening.”

“I wanted to introduce you to one of my partners.”

“Hi,” Jamie said from behind her, “I’m Jamie.”

He sounded weirdly shy at the moment, unlike his usual soft, but intimidating self.

“I would like to thank you for everything that you’ve done for the Scouts. We all appreciate it.”

_What the hell was wrong with him?_

He sounded nervous, not just shy. She figured that it was nighttime, and he got really tired in the night.

“No problem, I was glad to give you it.”

\---

“Are you tired or something?” she asked him as they walked to Eren’s room.

“A little.”

“Already? It’s barely dark,” she said as she opened the door to his room.

He was still asleep, peacefully, actually. It was unusual how much he slept, but it probably had something to do with his past, like everything else.

“You’re not going to wake him up?” Jamie asked her.

“No, he’ll probably sleep through the night, so we should let him.”

“What if he wakes up?”

“The others will be here, right?”

“I’m saying—”

“I know what you’re saying. Just… let him rest.”

\---

The gear that they wore was heavy today for some reason. Probably because of how weak she’s gotten. It’s been weeks since her last full training session, it was just the fact that she was too weak to do anything other than ‘taking it easy’.

“Is it too heavy for you? You don’t have to wear it,” Jaime said to her worriedly.

“It’s fine.”

\---

The old Scouting Headquarters was farther away than they thought, and it had both them and the Cadets tired from being in the dark. They got there eventually, feeling the effects of fatigue.

The Cadets were put in one room, where they could sleep. Ceitara and Jamie were in the room next to them, but close enough so that they could hear.

‘“We should go into the hallway so we can hear better,” he suggested.

“You can go into the hallway if you want.”

“Don’t you want to sleep?”

“No.”

“Your eyes, Cei. I know when you’re tired.”

“I’m not exactly in a position where I can _sleep_ right now. You aren’t either,” she spat.

“You don’t have to stay awake the entire time, and I’ll look through the book for you.”

“You don’t have the dreams...”

“Yes,” he started to walk over to her, “But there’s a reason that I know more about you than anyone else.”

He took the book from her hands, while swiftly grabbing her arm in the process.

“Let’s go.”

She was too tired to fight back, it’s not like she wanted to anyway. He led her out into the hallway, immediately noticing the small movements that the Cadets were making.

“Are you going to give me the book back?”

“No,” he said as he sat down against the wall.

Despite torches being lit, the room was still dimmer than the other with one candle. It was definitely easier to sleep in this light.

“You’re not going to actually read it, are you?”

“I am.”

“Then what will I do?”

“Sleep.”

She let out a sigh before sitting down next to him. The room felt weirdly dizzy. To combat that, she leaned her head on his shoulder, which wasn’t anything new for them.

“I feel drunk.”

“You’ve never been drunk,” he said to her.

“And you have?”

“Yeah, it's your fault that you never interacted with anyone other than me in our Cadet days.”

“It’s your fault.”

“How is it my fault?” he chuckled.

“Because…” she gasped at the sudden idea in her head.

“What is it?” he asked her.

“We should get drunk. Like blackout drunk in the nighttime and not do anything the entire next day.”

“When should we do that? I’m pretty sure you’ve never felt a hangover before.”

“Tomorrow night. We don’t have training the morning after. It’ll be fun.”

“Sure, whatever you’d like.”

**_to be continued_ **


	31. The Fall: History (Part 1)

"Any reason why they have us all the way out here?" Ceitara asked.

"I heard that they're having trouble."

"It still doesn't make sense why they want Cadets all the way out in Shiganshina. Especially if it's just us two."

"It's probably the Garrison. They saw how hard we worked in Trost, and wanted us to help reinforce the cannons out here."

"Are you two the Cadets that they asked to come out here?" some Garrison soldier asked them.

He was obviously drunk, and she shot her comrade next to her a knowing look.

"Yes, we are," she smiled, "My name is Ceitara."

"Yeah... your help is needed on top of the walls. Keith Shadis said that there were two promising Cadets that worked with the Engineering Corps before and did really well," he started while walking in front of them, "You should start at either gate and work your way around to the others, checking the cannons."

"Um... excuse me," she cut in, "Isn't that the Garrison's job?"

"Yes, but we don't have the skill set that is needed anymore. Technology is advancing so fast, and I'm just an old drunk, I can't do much. If you do have other questions, ask the older ones up top, not me."

"I'll start from the outside, then," she said to him.

"And I'll go from the inside... see ya, Ceitara."

"See ya... Jamie."

\---

The cannons in Shiganshina were a lot different from the ones in Trost District, but luckily they both worked with them enough to be able to find any problems.

Problems, though, were few and far between. It had seemed like they were asked to be there in order to do the Garrison's job like she suspected.

\---

Ceitara hadn't been in the Cadets for too long when she made her way to Shiganshina. That includes her not knowing much of her power's extent, just how to use it. As far as she knew, the only ones that actually worked were healing and attack, the others were too hard to figure out. She hadn't even thought about looking into protection yet.

Her and Jamie had only talked once before, and that was when they were told that they were asked to go to Shiganshina.

The distance between the two districts were far, and it had taken them a while to leisurely get there on horses, not to mention the fright of other animals in the area that weren't titans.

\---

She had chosen to go outside because she thought that there may be titans in the area that she could maybe get a peek at. It was partially a disappointment and partially a success. There were no titans, but there were the Scouts, coming back from what seemed like a failed mission. She wished she could've gone down and seen them up close, but her job didn't allow for that.

There was a cannon in particular that was so messed up, she despised it. The problem was in multiple places, but every time she fixed it, it would pose another, and another, and another.

The only thing that stopped it was a shock of lighting that made the air move again. She'd never heard anything like it before.

It was the beginning of the fall.

The tremors in the ground almost knocked her off into titan territory, but thankfully she was able to catch herself hanging off the edge.

Then she saw it.

The face of the titan who took it all away. It was horrifying to think that something so simple could ruin thousands of lives in a matter of _seconds_. It was unreal, and it led her farther from her goal.

There was another tremor that actually knocked her off the top of the wall. There was no way she was going to die from that. Instead, she caught herself, realizing her decision to save civilians was wrong.

She was an angel, after all. It was her job to save as many people as she could. It was messed up. She had enough experience to move her gear in the right directions, but it was damaged. She hit it hard after the first tremor.

It was already too late by then, and she couldn't do anything to stop it.

The first titan she faced was out for cold-blood. It wasn't anything less than what she expected. It's hand reached out for her, just barely grabbing her foot and twisting it before she could pull out of its grasp.

After that, her only option was to keep flying on her gear, now that she knew for sure that she couldn't walk anymore. The pain that the break in her foot was producing didn't help either. Usually pain didn't really affect her (unless it was great), but on that day, in that moment it did.

It could've possibly been her mental state, or the fact that she felt like this was the end. The end of a failed angel, she might've even been killed for that, honestly. The mission was always more important, so the compassion that she had couldn't get in the way, but it did, and the damage was done.

The pressure made her feel sick, but the hand of a titan was what made her fall to the ground and pass out.

She could still feel everything, unfortunately. The pain... Jamie. Jamie calling out to her. She wondered if he had actually killed that titan, it didn't matter. She was supposed to die anyway.

"Ceitara! Hey! Ceitara! Answer me!"

She could feel him shaking her head, but she was too out of it to respond, or even mumble anything. All she could do was wince at the pain she was feeling. It was still a sign for him, though. She was alive, and the least he could do was get her to the inner gate.

Then tragedy struck again, when the inner gate was destroyed. It was mostly a blur after the fact. All there was to it was running. Running from those big giant creatures with an unconscious girl in his arms. Was this the fate that a 15-year-old was supposed to face? There was no reasoning. Why did everything hate us? Want us to die?

And, why has there never been an answer to any of those questions?

**_to be continued_ **


	32. Safety: History (Part 2)

It was cold, but hot at the same time. Her fingertips were freezing, but the rest of her body was sweating. She was strong enough to open her eyes again., all she could feel after that was pain. Most of it came from her foot, but her entire body hurt in a different way.

She was lying on her back, but turned to the side to feel more comfortable.

She couldn't remember anything, but the fabric that was laid across her said that she was safe in a way. It also explained the sweat rolling down her back.

There was a hand that touched her shoulder while she looked around.

"You shouldn't try to get up, yet, you'll hurt yourself."

Despite his words, she lifted her back up, while holding the wall next to her. The pain in her head got worse with every second, and she regretted not listening to him.

Her vision was too blurry, but when it cleared up, she was actually able to see his face again.

"Jamie?" she barely recognized him at first.

"What do you need?"

She was able to move her body enough to loosely wrap her arms around his neck and leaned into his shoulder.

"Thank you... so much. I don't know how I could ever repay you."

"You don't have to."  
  


"I do... just give me time until I feel better, then I'll do anything you want."

  
"I said you don't have to, so don't worry about it."

She was silently crying at the same time, but her voice didn't show any of it. So, when he tried to push her off him, she held him tighter.

"Are you not feeling any pain?" he asked her.

"I can, my head just hurts more," she sniffled.

He could hear it this time. The pain in her voice. How terrified she actually was, despite playing most of it off. Somehow, he could hear the thought of dying replaying back in her head between her sobs.

"We're safe now... I won't let you get hurt.'

They were in Trost District, safe and away from the breach in the walls. There was only one sensible way that they got there: Jamie carried her the whole distance.

It didn't seem possible. The distance between the inner gate of Shiganshina and the outer gate of Trost was too far for anyone to walk without getting tired. He probably ran most of the way.

Unless, they got on horses, but as far as they could tell, there wasn't a village near the shortest path to Wall Rose, and all of the civilians could have taken the horses for their own use, anyway.

"You should lay back down, Ceitara. I need to get us something to eat."  
  
The Garrison were trying to get as many people out of the area as possible. Meaning that if you could leave, you have to. That's why their Cadet uniforms were gone. The jackets, the straps, the pants, they were all replaced by something else.

 _Jamie must've done that_ , she thought.

He was smart enough to know the situation, but she didn't even know how long they'd been there. She still couldn't walk, and he was probably too weak to carry her back.

\---

She was sitting against the wall when he came back.

"Here," he said as he handed two pieces of bread to her.

He was holding three, but gave her more despite his hunger.

"How long have we been here?"

"Three days. You need to eat something so your body can heal."

She turned her head with a look of annoyance.

"We'll split this one," she said, putting it on the ground.

"But you need to-"

"I'm fine. You're weak also and we both need to be able to heal."

There was no fuss after that comment. Neither of them were fine, but he wasn't going to eat the half that she gave him, in hope of her giving in.

While they ate, she noticed a blond-haired child walking into the shelter. He was young, but he gave his other two friends the only pieces of bread that he was holding.

She decided to act on a whim again, hoping that Jamie wasn't disappointed that he didn't get to eat anything more. She stood up, walking over to the trio of kids.

"Wait... you shouldn't be standing yet."

Still she tried her best to cover the pain in her foot, while Jamie went after her.

"Ceitara, you're going to hurt yourself even more."

She ignored him, and bent down in front of them. There was the blond boy that she saw walking in, a black haired boy, and a blond-haired girl who all looked the same age.

"Here," she said softly, "You should eat, too."

They all had a surprised expression on their faces.

"Don't worry, I already had my share for today," she said while placing the piece of bread in his hands.

"Doesn't your foot hurt?" Jamie asked from behind her.

She bit her cheek as an attempt to sooth the pain, while the kids were still watching her.

"Yeah. It does."

"That's probably because it's broken."

He helped her up as they walked back to the wall they were sitting against.

"I don't even know how you did that."

"Sorry, I just know that this hurts..." the ache in her foot came back, "... really bad."

"I don't have anything else to protect it other than the bandages and the shoe that I found."

She laughed a little at how much he was trying to make her feel better.

"You really came through when I needed you," she smiled.

He was flustered by what she said, and it showed all over his face.

"I try my best."

\---

It was nighttime again, and the cold air made her shiver slightly. She looked to Jamie for warmth, leaning her head on his shoulder to get comfortable.

"Are you cold?"

"A little, but I'll be okay."

**_to be continued_ **


	33. Affection: History (Part 3)

"You can't be serious."

It's been years since the first attack on humanity. In fact, so many years that the pair was graduating and ready to go into their separate regiments. Ceitara chose the Scouts from day one, and told Jamie about a year after they met. After that, Jamie remained undecided, until he finally told her that he made the same decision.

"I'm not joking..." he said, looking into her eyes, "I want to join the Scouts."

"You're doing this because of me, aren't you? If you wanted my opinion, you should've asked me."

" _You_ are not the reason," he responded.

"Then what is it? Do you actually want to kill titans?" her voice began to grow harsher and Jamie knew what was coming.

"Cei, calm down."

She started to walk towards him while glaring, her eyes faintly turning red.

"Hey," he started, "Calm down before you lose control."

She didn't mean for her words to come out that way, but when it did, she'd usually lose control of her emotions, and, without meaning to, she would use physical force. Thanks to Jamie, she was able to control that emotion, most of it turning into hysterical laughter.

He got a hold of both of her hands and rubbed his thumbs over them gently, still looking into her eyes.

"Sorry."

"It's okay," he hummed, letting go of her arms and then hugging her.

"I still don't want you to join the Scouts."

"I don't want you to join either. But I can't stop you, that's why you're here, right?"

"Mhm..."

"Yeah... I would go pretty damn far to make sure you don't get hurt."

He pushed back from hugging her, cupping her face in his hands and rubbing her cheeks.

"You know that, right?"

She nodded her head and they both stared into each other's eyes.

It was a couple of moments before he decided to lean down and kiss her lips. His eyes were closed, but hers were open, and she had no reaction to it. His face, on the other hand, was flushed, and his small smile turned down, and then into a chuckle.

"Ceitara, I just kissed you."

"What?" she asked in confusion.

"Surely, you've seen people kiss before."

"Yeah, but I don't understand."

"You're so cute," he laughed, making her flustered also, "We should sit, it'll be a long talk."

He led her to the outside of the mess hall, both of them sitting on the ground with their back to the wall.

"A kiss," he started when they sat down, "Is something you do when you really, really like somebody. It's a way to show affection."

"So, if I really, really like my comrades, I kiss them?"

"No, you only do it when you like someone romantically."

"Romantically?"

"Like, when two people get married, it's called romance."

"You want to marry me?"

"No— _not yet_ , but there's romance before people get married... and romance is caused by two people having romantic feelings for eachother."

"And romantic feelings..."

"Are just a feeling. You'll know when you romantically have feelings for someone, it feels different from normal ones."

She couldn't hold it in anymore, and burst out in laughter.

"I feel so stupid."

"That's because you are," he laughed with her, "I still can't believe you didn't know any of that."

"Did I do it wrong?"

"A little, but you'll get it next time."

"I hope so," she continued to laugh, "I don't want to mess up again."

"It's okay if you do, you're an angel, you've only been here for three years, anyway."

\---

**_850_ **

"Cei. Hey. Cei!" Jamie whispered-shouted.

She was asleep in his lap, six years after she first met him. Scout uniform on, she was glad to see his twenty-year-old face again, a reminder that they were older now.

"You were shaking, are you okay?"

She sat up, tired eyes still looking at him. She then placed a hand on his cheek, rubbing it softly with her thumb.

"What's wrong?"

She looked dazed. The fact that her dreams were just relived memories made it harder for her to accept reality. It wasn't long before she decided to lean in and kiss him again, the lips that were supposed to be gentle and caring came in a little harder than expected.

He was able to match her energy, pushing back a little, then calming her enough so she could kiss him gently. His movements made her heart flutter and she wondered how he was so skilled at this.

When she finally let go, he looked at her and smiled.

"What was that for?"

She leaned into his shoulder again, still tired, and hoping for some kind of reaction from him.

"Thank you..." she said quietly.

"Hm?"

"Thank you for being here."

He chuckled slightly before letting her get comfortable.

"Did you have a bad dream?"

"No... just memories."

"Just so you know, I'll be here for as long as you want me to."

"I'm so tired."

"Cei... you can go back to sleep."

With that, she was asleep again, this time much lighter than before. Jamie had actually been reading through the book and found out a little on nightmares. Common nightmares, as the book told it, were usually caused by past trauma. They came in the form of bad memories. Jamie didn't have nightmares that often, and when he did, they weren't as bad as hers.

\---

In their Cadet days, they were closer than anyone else. Sometimes Jamie would catch her on a walk outside after she had a bad dream, and then stayed with her until she was peacefully asleep. After a while, he realized that after she had a nightmare, she would go dreamless and wake up perfectly fine.

He also let her test her powers on him, which led to many injuries since her attack power was stronger than her healing at first. He spent too much time around her.

And ended up falling in love pretty easily.

**_to be continued_ **


	34. Gift

As she started to wake up again, there was a sudden headache that hit her. It was barely light outside, but at least Jamie was still there. He looked tired, but it was easy to figure out that he stayed up so she could sleep.

"It's almost time for us to go," he said, noticing that she was up.

"Really? I was asleep the whole time?"

"Mhm... and you left me to do all of your work," he chuckled, "You should be ashamed."

She laughed at his words. She wasn't as tired as before, but there was still some trace of fatigue in both of their voices.

\---

She went to Marco's room, tell him the good news. It was that he could walk around Scout headquarters safely, without worrying about the threat. Yes, she removed their memories, but it was hard to tell if it even worked properly.

"You would work well with Commander Erwin," she said to him, "If you find something, you should meet with him, I'm sure he'll be glad to see you."

\---

Back at headquarters, the area was bustling with Scouts moving in and out of rooms quickly, gathering the supplies in one area and some of them training outside.

She went to check in the infirmary for Eren, who was still there, sleeping. He'd been asleep for more then 12 hours.

"Eren," she whispered next to him, "Come on. You've been asleep for too long."

He opened his eyes slowly, but suddenly.

"It's been so many hours. You must've been tired."

Why did she remind him of his mother?

She could never replace her but the way she got him to wake up was strangely like his mother used to, like that day, that morning. It was neither a good nor bad memory.

"Eren?" she snapped him out of his thoughts, "You okay?"

"Yeah, just a weird dream."

She knew he was lying, and she knew that the memories of his mother came back to hit him in the head as soon as he woke up from a fifteen hour nap.

\---

Before experiments started, she went into Erwin's office, mainly to check on him because of how weird he was acting the day prior.

"Commander Erwin," she started, "What is going on?"

"Oh... good I was just about to call you in."

"You were? What for?"

He looked well-rested, and the mess on his desk was gone. But, she could tell that he had something itching at the back of his neck. Something that didn't concern her.

"I have something I want to give you," he said, reaching into one of the drawers in his desk, "It was supposed to happen a long time ago, but because of your injury, and the tragedy in Trost, It was delayed a lot more than it should have been."

He pulled out a small, brown box. It was too big for a ring, and too small for a necklace. Not many things were surprising to her, so she was happy that she got this chance to try and guess what it was.

  
He opened the box revealing a brooch. It was a blue that matched the color of her eyes, but it had a dark red tint to it, making it slightly more purple. It glowed in the sunlight, probably better in the moonlight.

He took it out, letting her hold it and admire its beauty.

"This is for when I pass... and you become Commander of the Scouts."

She wasn't completely against that idea, but it did surprise her. There were no earlier discussions on her taking command, and frankly, it wasn't ideal. There were many others that could lead better than her, but Erwin knew that it was the right choice.

"I want you to have a brooch from me, so that you can continue my legacy, if I don't reach my dream."

She nodded, turning around and letting him put the bolo tie around her neck until it was secure. It was heavier than she thought, probably made from some exotic jewel that she's never heard of before.

"Do you really think that I'm fit to be Commander?"

"You can judge yourself, but just know that I'm giving you the job for a reason. I know your potential as a Captain, and as a Commander."

"Thank you."

\---

_"Ceitara! Did you give up yet?" Hange yelled at her._

_Wooden knife in hand, she was coughing up blood, exerting her power in the final test of the day._

_This was the strength test, just to see how long she could last after completely exerting her other powers in the other tests._

_She was fighting opponents that were weaker than her, but there were just so many. If she passed, this would be the last one, and the Scouts would have succeeded at getting her strong._

_It was hand-to-hand combat. Her opponents included the entire Scout Regiment. All of the Scouts. That meant that she was fighting Levi, Miche, Hange, Jamie, every single one._

_She was still only seventeen, with a black shirt and the white pants she'd been wearing since Cadet days. It was tiring, she was drained from it, from overusing her powers, and from coughing up so much blood. She was doing it again, tired and shaking, and she still had so many people to fight off until the end of it._

_She lost balance, feeling a major pain in her stomach. She'd been feeling it the entire time, the feeling that she was going to die. She fell, losing consciousness, Jamie calling her name._

Why did it feel like the fall?

_She was out for more than a couple days at a time, Jamie being there whenever she woke up, and panicking every time her breath hitched. He got sleep, after being relieved that she was awake again._

_Experiments such as those were banned from now on, and Ceitara promised to never worry him like that again._

**_to be continued_ **


	35. Experiments

When there was light in the sky, they decided to start experimenting on Eren. Ceitara made sure to check his mood the entire morning, so that he wouldn’t learn to hate them the way that she did.

His first test was to have him turn into a titan, a simple task.

“Hange, I don’t know if this is going to work,” Ceitara told them.

“Shh… Don’t spoil it with your psychic powers.”

“I was trying to say that-”

“Shh… it’s starting!”

Nothing started, in fact, they waited many minutes for nothing to happen. It wasn’t too long before Ceitara suggested the idea that she would go and check on him.

She did, finding him there, with blood all over his hands.

_Blood? Again?_

_  
_“Eren. You can stop biting your hand now.”

She turned around to Hange with a knowing look on her face.

“I told you that this wouldn’t work.”

After struggling to get Eren out of the hole, she wrapped his hands in the bandages that she had laying around from earlier.

“I’m sorry, I thought that I could control it.”

“It’s fine,” she smiled, “It just means that cuts aren’t the only trigger. You should be able to figure it out soon… that is if I don’t first.”

\---

Ceitara didn’t drink tea too often, really only when Levi was around, but for some reason today, the tea was delicious. It distracted her from the day's work, and the fact that Hange was gone, and not bothering her, made everything more relaxing.

It wasn’t until Eren tried to pick up a spoon that she was alert again, a little late at it, though. The wind knocked her out of her chair, making her fall on her back on roll over to the side.

This didn’t go unnoticed by the Special Operations Squad, which is one of the reasons that she wanted Jamie there with her. She knew their personalities that even if Eren accidentally did something, they never trusted him.

When she could get up again, the others were already surrounding him, swords out, and eyes focused.

_Oh, no._

The amount of fear in Eren’s eyes was visible from where she stood.

“Everyone, calm down.”

Levi’s voice was easily heard, serious and concerning. She walked over normally, pushing through the squad and holding out a hand for Eren.

“Captain! Get away from there,” Petra yelled worriedly.

“Relax, he’s not dangerous.”

“Ohhh! Eren!” came Hange’s voice from a distance, “Can I touch it?”

This was Hange’s first persona, crazy and hyper. She regretted not bringing Laika with her, she would enjoy this as much as Hange did.

“Hange don’t it’s-”

“Ahhh! It’s hot!”

She knew the insides were hot, that precisely what she discovered from all of the Scouting Missions. Of course, Hange still wanted to check.

“Eren, here.”

Ceitara motioned her hand for Eren to grab, which he did, stumbling into her, and falling to the ground.

“That’s enough experimenting for today,” she said, helping him up.

“We’ll try again later if we have time.”

“No, it’s enough. Even if we figure it out within the next couple of hours, we should have Eren rest fully, that way we can make sure that we’re doing this right.”

“Are you sure?” Hange asked her while looking at something in his titan hand, “Oh!”

“Look at this Cei!”

“What?”

“A teaspoon!”

“Oh…” she started sarcastically, “You should inspect that.”

\---

They walked away, slower than usual due to Eren’s state.

“Captain?”

“Hm?”

“Why aren’t we continuing experiments today?”

“Aren’t you tired?”

“Right now, I am, but I won’t be later.”

“We need you at full strength for our results to be accurate.”

“But I will be at full strength.”

“That doesn’t matter. If you work yourself too hard, you won’t want to get up again. Scout experiments are hard to get through, I don’t want you to hate them.”

They walked in silence for a little while, until Eren’s curiosity took the best of him.

“Have you been experimented on before?”

It was a reminder that Eren was still in the dark about her powers. Most of the regiment was, but it hadn't even occurred to her that he should know that she was also supernatural.

“I have, that’s why I’m telling you this.”

“Do you have titan abilities too?”

“No, I have powers that improve my performance as a human. That’s actually how I rose through the ranks so fast,” she smiled at the thought, “But, because your power is so great, there will need to be a lot more testing done than for me… If you want, I could tell you about my experiences later, and the reason that I tell you not to work yourself so hard.”

\---

It was lunchtime in the mess hall, and while walking in the hallway, she found Marco, holding a book and heading towards the Commander’s office. Then, she found Jamie, waking up from a 9-hour long nap.

“Good morning,” he said, a tired smile crossing his face.

“Good afternoon… and it’s lunchtime, you should eat something.”

“You’re done with experiments?”

“Yeah, but I want to try training again after we eat. I feel like I’m getting weaker and it doesn’t feel good.”

“You still have muscle.”

“Jamie… no. That doesn’t count.”

“I’ll train with you, I haven’t done anything harsh like you do.”

“You shouldn't, it's not good for you.”

He looked at her weirdly, for being the hypocrite that she is.  
  


“I’m the one with powers, not you.”

\---

At lunch, she decided earlier that it would be a good time to discuss a certain person who made an impact.

“Miche, do you know anyone by the name of Sophie?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Could you tell me anything about her?”

“What do you want to know?”

“Where is she from, how did you meet, just tell me anything.”

“We came across after I became a Scout. I happened to bump into her one time by coincidence. She was from underground, and she was the strongest soldier I ever met.”

**_to be continued_ **


	36. Beautiful Liar

It was starting to get risky down in the underground, especially for a teenage girl.

Men there loved the look of teenage girls. Those disgusting pervs, they should die a horrible death, and Sophie made sure of it.

\---

**_ 831 _ **

It was another normal, hot day of being all alone. She wasn’t crazy enough to kill her own parents, they got themselves in that situation. _She put them in that situation_. No, she didn’t. They chose that path, and that was the consequences.

She tried to keep reminding herself that everyday. It wasn’t really working, and it hasn’t been for the past eleven years. She can’t picture them anymore, and she never got an answer to if her mother was the actual one that birthed her.

The heat was burning her skin, rather than the sun. There was no sun, she never got to see it. She worked alone, like always, and always got the job done. Killing people, selling drugs, she was smart enough not to do them, it would halt how much money she made. And, she didn’t make a lot.

There was a reason why she wasn’t a prostitute, it was from the stories she heard about how they get sick really easily. Before, she thought she had no choice but to give in, and maybe be able to eat everyday, but after hearing that, the lifestyle that she had was good enough.

\---

Today wasn’t supposed to be an eventful one, but there was something in the air that said it was. She needed to work with another group of people for some kind of assignment to kill someone, a rich man, and take all of his money.

It didn’t seem fair, since she would be the one doing the job, and they would get the money. Yes, she would still get some, but it just didn’t sit right after all.

\---

“What do you want me to do?”

“Kill him.”

“Look, kid, you need to be more specific. I’ll do it however I want if you give me vague details,” she said to him.

“Kill him, hide the body, then take the money.”

She breathed a sigh of annoyance, knowing that he wasn’t going to give her anything else.

They were talking in an alleyway, dark, with the only light being her eyes. The man she was talking to was obviously older, but not taller than her, especially since she was rather short for a twenty-three year old. Her foot leaned on the wall in front of them as he talked.

“How much are you going to pay me?”

“How much are you looking for?”  
  


 _All of it_.

“Fourty, fifty if it’s difficult.”

“Your prices are low.”

“They usually aren’t, but this is a special circumstance.”

“You think?”

“You’ll see.”

She met that rich man before. He brought something from her. The thing was, that her two ways of making money were completely different, and times like this, they would clash. She wasn’t exclusive to the kid and the old man gave her an offer.

He could get her out of the underground, and she was going to take advantage of that.

Really, she only had one goal in life—to see the outside. She spent her entire life there, and she just wanted to see the sky. Once she did that, she could die in peace.

She was planning to meet with the man the same night as she met with her employer. His house was hard to scout out, but he gave her his address before, just in case she needed an extra sum of cash to ‘make her night’. A dumb move on his part, she was much more than a damsel. She was an assassin.

His home wasn’t too far away from where she stood, but the trek to get there was long enough to make her pant when she knocked on his door.

The man was rather old, nice seemingly, and had a dress suit on. He was towering over, in the most uncomfortable way possible.

“Hello beautiful, why are you here?”

His words made her shiver in disgust, but it was easy to remember why she was there in the first place.

“Oh, don’t go into formalities,” she said jokingly, “I was just stopping by, I heard you had a large sum of cash. I’m willing to take some, for myself.”

“Well, you should come inside then.”

She was equipped with a knife, a sharp and long one, to make sure that it cut through skin easily. His house wasn’t large, but for one man, it was easily comfortable. There were many cabinets, and small pockets that were mostly likely made for the many secrets that the man had. This was going to be easy, too easy.

She went by the name ‘Beautiful Liar’ among the darker businesses, and no one knew her actual identity, that was the kicker.

“Would you like some wine?”

“No thank you, though your collection seems vast.”

“It gets even bigger.”

“Really? Where would you keep all of it?”

“Above ground.”

“Above ground?”

Of course, she knew that already. There was a lot of preparation work done to get here, and one of them included seeing if he could get her above ground somehow. She stalked him for a while, seeing that he could indeed get out of here, it was just a matter of him being able to get her out also.

“Yes, it's a secret, though,” he said, touching her shoulder.

“I love secrets, and I’m even better at keeping them.”

“Is that so? Well I guess I could tell you everything then,” he said, lowering his head next to her face.

It was so easy to grab him by the jaw, and smash his head in the rack of varied alcohol, but she fought the urge, losing her dignity and not flinching back from it.

“Underground is not my fourté. I’d prefer to work somewhere else… Maybe you could show me the rest of your wine collection.”

“Of course.”

**_to be continued_ **


	37. Kye

It was too easy. At this point, it had to be.

She put in much more work then it seemed like to get here, and she was finally leaving this horrid place. It felt amazing, a sense of euphoria washing over her as he said those words, 'of course'. She was finally going to get out of here.

"What's your name by the way?"

"I go by Kye."

"Kye is a pretty name."

"Thank you."

It was the name of her late mother. It seemed wrong in this situation, but if she was getting out, this would be the right way to honor her.

"This lady is with me," he said, approaching the police that was stopping him.

He had some kind of paper in his hand, she tried to read over it, but the words were too small for her to understand.

She knew the Military Police were always strict about leaving, she never tried to before, but she remembered seeing one work in her area where she was staying. She eyed him, a worried look appearing on his face that soon turned to fear.

\---

It was a bittersweet feeling. She reached into the sky, enjoying the look of the dim stars, but she had to hold her excitement, and hold in the confusion that she would soon feel. The moon shined bright, creating a light that they could follow.

They made it back to his house. _A house_. A house that stuck out between the rest on the street.

 _This man is rich as hell_.

It was going to pay, though she wasn't going to take any of his money. That would just cause more suspicion, and ultimately, get her killed if anyone found out.

She was knocked out of her thoughts when he grabbed her wrist, tightly. She tried to pull away, but was pretty much yanked into the kitchen of his home.

"It's too late to get away now."

This is what she wanted. She wanted him to get as violent as possible, so she wouldn't feel bad for killing him.

Her eyes leaked with bloodlust, the sense of evil comfort knocking the smirk off his face. She reached for the knife slowly, so that he could barely see her movements, and when the time finally came...

All at once, she swiftly took the knife from her pocket, flipping it around and stabbing it into his chest. He whined in pain, but not enough to scream. To make sure he didn't, she pulled it out, stabbing it as hard as she could into his throat, breaking any possible vocal cords.

He fell to the ground, body stiffening and unable to move, he would be dead soon.

She looked at herself, covered in his disgusting blood. This was planned for, actually she planned for it to be even bloodier, but there was a part of her thanking him for being so gullible, so she left it as it was. She took off those clothes, leaving her cooler than before.

Leaving the candle lit, she walked out of the building, hood on, and looking downward.

The area seemed deserted, but it was the middle of the night, so she expected that. It made it easier for her to go through the gate that led out into the wilderness.

That's when she was able to admire the actual beauty of the sky. She could smile, feeling grass on her hand for the first time, and looking into the sky. _She kept looking into the sky_.

Fatigue came about not too long afterward. Fatigue, and a sense of safety that she hadn't ever felt in her life.

\---

"Ma'am, excuse me... ma'am."

There was someone shaking her to wake up, while her back was against something like a wall.

When she noticed him, she jumped, backing away and reaching for a knife once seeing that it was a man.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he said while reaching a hand out.

She took in his features. He was tall, definitely stronger than her, and had a genuine look in his eyes. A look that wasn't familiar to her, so she couldn't tell his intentions.

"What do you want?" she spat, hand still over the handle of the knife.

"There's blood on your face."

She reached for her cheek, then looking at it to see the dark liquid from her face. It wasn't dry, so she assumed it was cut in her sleep. She looked at him again, this time seeing that he had a uniform on that was similar to the one the Military Police wore, except the badge was different.

"Where are you from?" she asked him directly.

"What?"

"What's that symbol... on your shoulder."

"The Wings of Freedom, you mean?" he asked, pointing to it.

"Yes! Where is it from?"

"The Scout Regiment... Ma'am, where do you live?"

"I don't know. I don't remember... But the Scout Regiment sounds fun!"

"Do you know what we do?"

"Not really."

"We go outside the walls and explore the land."

"That seems fun!" her eyes lit up in excitement, "Could you make me a Scout?"

It was a risk that she was willing to take. She's never seen the Scouts before, but it seemed like fun that she could explore beyond the walls that she's never seen since the day before.

"You would have to meet with the Commander in order to do that... How old are you?"

"I don't know... I guess you could say somewhere in my twenties."

"You're a little old."

"How is that old? You look the same age as me."

"You have to go through the Cadet Corps first, and most of them are twelve to fifteen."

"Is there anyway that I can skip that?"

"You would have to meet with the Commander and do intensive training, also you would need to learn how to use the Vertical Maneuver Gear. That takes a couple of years to master-"

"I can do it, I just need to go somewhere that's away from here."

"What's your name?"

"Sophie White."

**_to be continued_ **


	38. Sophie White

**_ 843 _ **

“Miche, why were you there that day?”

“What do you mean?”

“When you found me, the first time that we met… what were you doing?”  
  


“I was in charge of getting supplies. It was just a miracle that you were there… lonely and tired out of your mind.”

“I just killed someone.”

“I know, but you did what you had to.”

“But now we’re going back.”  
  


“We’re not going to stay, just stop some criminals.”

\---

Sophie was a fast learner, which made it not surprising when she could use the gear immediately with one visual instruction. Over the years, she mastered it easily, earning respect from the Commander. She was strong, and passionate, and had something about her that made everyone watch when she would fly through the sky, killing titans with ease.

It was an easy life. Except for one thing…

There was something in her mind. Something that possessed it, giving her headaches that would knock her off her feet. They would come often, up to three times a day. She would lose consciousness easily, not getting up until a couple hours after.

The weirdest part was that it never happened during missions, or whenever she was training.

She talked with Miche about her life underground, not originally wanting to tell him, but he asked too many times, and was not disappointed by her response.

He knew that there was something up with her. How muscular she was, and how she always was smiling. The worst of situations for him wasn’t half of bad as the worst for her.

\---

It had been twelve years before going to go underground again. She was among the advanced that would be going. She didn’t protest anything, even though she didn’t want to go back there. Miche knew that it was stressing her out.  
  


They were sitting outside in the dark, facing away from the Scout building and focusing their gazes on the sky rather than each other.

“We’re not going to stay, just stop some criminals.”

“Still, it’s just the bad memories.”

He took a hold of her hand, rubbing it softly with his thumb.

“You’ll be okay, just don’t worry about it too much.”

\---

The day finally came. It wasn’t hard to see the area again, but the individual buildings brought back unwanted memories like she said it would.

“Are you feeling okay?” Miche asked her.

“I’m fine.”

She didn’t do much to catch the perpetrators, but when meeting them, she noticed something familiar.

She tried to make out one of their faces before Miche pushed his head into the ground.

“Miche,” she said walking over to him, “Calm down.”

She bent down in front of the younger man, holding his head up with her hand.

“I know you… you’re Levi right?”

He glared at her, immediately recognizing her face from twelve years before. Her betrayal cost them food for weeks, but they learned to live on their own in different ways.

“You should be careful with them, he's one of the reasons I got out of here.”

She was lying, of course, but she honestly felt bad for him after seeing them get so easily defeated.

\---

Sophie and Levi’s relationship wasn’t completely destroyed after that, but it took a lot of time and understanding in order for them to build it back up again.

There were so many times where he would go up to her and ask why. Why did she leave them to die the way she did? Why couldn’t she turn down their offer and get their hopes up? And finally, why did she leave all the money for the Military Police?

She always had an answer for the first one, but not the others. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision, something that wasn’t common in her actions.

“Are you finally going to stop asking questions?”

“Are you finally going to give me an answer?”

“An answer doesn’t matter now. We are where we are, and… you should go visit your daughter, she got hurt today.”

“That’s because you let her get hurt.”

“And if I did? You can’t do anything about it.”

\---

**_ 850 _ **

“Remarks like that were the reason Levi didn’t like her too much.”

Ceitara nodded in understanding, glancing over at Levi who was staring at his teacup.

“She always kept a knife on her, but would never take it out.”

Ceitara was always one to remember the significance of protection, even though she hadn’t been through anything similar.

“Something like this?” she said while pulling out a pocket knife.

It was sharp, but tucked into its handle so it wouldn’t hurt her.

“I always keep one on me, just in case.”

“But, nothing has ever happened to you,” Jamie said from beside her.

“I know how to use it, there’s just never been a situation.”

Everyone still stared, despite her claims. No one else in the regiment did that, meaning that she couldn’t have gotten it from anyone in there.

“Sophie died six years ago after sacrificing herself.”

“Six years ago?”

“Six years ago?”

Ceitara and Jamie both spoke at the same time, giving each other understanding looks afterward.

“I came into this world six years ago.”

“Do you think…”

“What do you know about the angels?” Erwin asked from farther away.

“Not much, and if I did, I doubt I would be able to say anything because of the contract. I do know that the angels and goddesses are very confidential when it comes to what they do. Me being the reincarnation of Sophie doesn’t make any sense because I don’t remember the angels being related to humans, despite my human form.”

\---

It didn’t really matter after that, because her eye twitched, and the quickened pace of her heart caught her off guard.

“Something’s wrong.”

“What?”

“Something’s happening… with the…”

The pain in her head caught her breath again. Miche noticed that she was holding her head with her right arm.

“Cei,” Jamie held her shoulder, “Tell us.”

“The titans… and the Cadets.”

The pain soon stopped, and she was able to figure out the words.

“The titans are near the Cadets.”

**_to be continued_ **


	39. Urgency

“What are you talking about?”

“I think something’s wrong.”

“Huh?”

“The Cadets are in danger.”

“How do you-”

“A feeling.”

_Always trust the angel’s instinct._

That’s something they learned over the years of her being a Scout. Good thing the Commander was there to witness her getting it first-hand, or it would’ve taken a long time for them to explain the situation. Though, this time she wasn’t showing any signs of panic.

“Cei and Jamie you can go check it out if you want to.”

“Got it.”

\---

“Are you sure about this?”

“I don’t know, it’s just a feeling.”

“If you’re right… what do we-”

“You think I know? If this is right, it’ll probably be the end for all of us… if there’s a hole in Wall Rose, humanity is done.”

They were both putting on their gear, getting ready to leave on the area.

“First, we need to evacuate the Cadets. I don’t know what to do with the dangerous ones, they’re probably behind this anyway. Then, we need to locate the breach, if there is one, send an informant back here and get the regiment to inform the districts. We also need to contact the Military Police, and hope that they’ll understand the danger despite being in the dark.”

“We need a solid plan.”

“There are too many ‘ifs’ for that. We can’t seal the breach with anything, so I don’t think that anyone out here would be fine. There are so many residents within Wall Rose, the interior would not be able to support it.”

“Cei! That’s later on, we need to focus on what we need to do now.”

“Protect the Cadets and find titans. If there are, we send an informant and locate the breach.”

\---

“Why are there no horses here?”

They made it back to the Old Scouting Headquarters. It was deserted, completely. She walked inside, checking in all of the rooms, under all of the desks, hoping for some kind of sign that they were still there. She panicked again, knowing that they weren’t safe from _each other_.

“They’re gone.”

“Do we go find them?”

“Do you remember who was watching them?”

“Hange and Moblit, I think, but there were a couple others.”

“Then, we need to hurry,” she said as she pushed herself onto her horse, “We don’t know where they are. I’ll go closer to the south.”

“I’ll go toward the north, then. See you later.”

“See you.”

There was some kind of urgency in the air, and it needed to be solved. Finding the Cadets was the main priority, because, frankly, it was hard to believe. Hange was smart enough to know what to do if they were to see titans, they would leave. There was no sign of a struggle when leaving the building, meaning that there was no reason to leave the building.

Or, the other option, she was wrong, and Hange left the building with no reason at all.

There was no way that could actually be true.

Especially when the emblem of the Scouts was barely visible from where she was. It was getting dark, Ceitara realizing that they talked about Sophie for longer than she thought.

“Hange!” she called out to get their attention, “What’s going on?”

“Cei? What are you doing out here? We saw titans, and we’re looking for the breach, but we sent an informant not too long ago. Did they get there already?”

“I left because I had a feeling that something was wrong. We didn’t cross paths, but I came with Jamie, too so they might’ve seen each other.”

She looked around, noticing some of the Cadets which she talked to before.

\---

“Isabel! What’s going on? And where are the-”

After a while, Jamie found someone. She was with others, including some Cadets. _Including Reiner_.

“Where is everyone?”

“They went to go look for the breach and inform the nearby villages of the titans here.”

 _So she was right_.

\---

“Why don’t you have other Scouts with you?”  
  


“I wanted them to get in contact with the other villages before splitting.”

 _Minimize deaths_.

Hange wasn’t exactly a fan of killing comrades the way Erwin was. They split everyone up, hoping that it’ll minimize the amount of deaths if someone were to transform.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know! I saw titans nearby, and-”

“But you kept them with you, right?”

“They were with me the whole time.”

  
Her eyes widened, and another feeling left her overwhelmed.

“Then how the hell…”

\---

_...did the wall breach?_

“Who was with you guys?” Jamie asked her.

“Hange, Moblit, Furlan, and Nanaba.”

“Why would they-”

Jamie always second guessed himself on making calls. It was even worse before Ceitara taught him how to look so far ahead. If she was going to die soon, then he would need to step in and continue her work. He knew he could never be as good as her, but there was nothing he could about that.

His call here couldn't be wrong.

_What would she do?_

No one could fight Reiner, or Bertholdt.

_Bertholdt… where the hell is Bertholdt?_

\---

“Who did you put them with?”

Hange only had two other Cadets with them: one of them being Jean, and another young woman, who, she hoped, wasn’t a titan shifter also.

“Bertholdt! Who did you put him with?”

“I put him with Furlan.”

_No!_

\---

“Give me Reiner, I’ll go around and find the breach, we’ll get it done faster that way.”

 _I hope that was right_.

\---

“Where is Furlan?”

“He went southwest. Reiner is with Isabel and she’s northeast.”

 _That’s where Jamie is_.

“The messenger should be there in a few more hours. When word gets around, they’ll inform the Military Police pretty quickly, but other than that, there’s nothing that we can do.”

“Your call, Cei.”

“Go look for the breach and I’ll-”

 _Protection, maybe I could activate it_.

“Jean, come with me, we need to go find something.”

By something, she didn’t know exactly what she was going to find, but she was looking for Bertholdt.

 _Southwest… all we need to do is go southwest_.

**_to be continued_ **


	40. Tragedy

It was much darker than before, Jean stayed quiet in fear, Reiner also. Ceitara and Jamie were apart, but, ultimately, it seemed as if they could read each other’s minds. She knew that he had Reiner with him, and he figured that she would be looking for Bertholdt.

Ceitara rode along the wall, finding nothing. There were no titans, and no breach, and no others in sight. It didn’t help how dark or quiet it was, but they found a village, hoping to find it vacant.

It wasn’t, actually it was, but she found the people that she was looking for.

“Furlan!” she called out to him, “How long have you been out here?”

“Too long, we’re all exhausted, and we don’t have many torches left after these.”

“Are you all stuck?”

“No, we were just investigating something. All of the houses here are destroyed.”

She looked at him in confusion.

“There’s also a titan that is on top of a house.”

_What?_

Furlan wasn’t the brightest in the Special Operations Squad, but he was damn strong. He spoke misunderstandings a lot, without meaning to.

“I’ll show you.”

He led her to the building, where there was a Cadet standing there, in awe. She was in awe also, noticing the way the titan was inside the building.

“Is this your house?” she asked him as she got off her horse.

It was harder to see due to the lack of moonlight, but he nodded his head without looking at her.

“I’m sorry.”

She walked over to it, looking it in the eyes. She decided to test it, but hovering her arm over its mouth. At first, it didn’t move much, but then it went for it, making her jump back.

 _That’s a titan, alright_.

“There would be too much paranoia for us to sleep here, we’ll have to find another area, but we don’t have a lot of time left,” she said to the group.

“There’s a castle not too far north, it’s not on any of the maps, but we used to do training there.”

It all made sense. Levi would make him and Isabel do extra training to make sure that they were as strong as the others. It was quite far away from the Scouting Headquarters, though.

“What’s the name of this village?”

“Ragako.”

“We’ll be back tomorrow, and probably find a few more people to bring with us.”

\---

By the time they got to the castle, it had been dark for many hours. She was surprised to see other horses there, knowing that someone beat her to it. The area was small, but it was large at the same time.

“Are you tired?” Jamie asked from beside her.

“Hardly, there’s so much going on, and I spent all of this time trying to find some kind answer and form some kind of plan to help us get out of it… You made the right call bringing Bertholdt here, but now I truly have no idea.”

Jamie was the one who beat her there. He hadn’t gone far east, but after seeing pretty much nothing, he joined back up with Isabel, and went to the castle so that the Cadets could rest.

“They shouldn’t put all the pressure on you.”

“If you didn’t know, I’m second in command. I’m known for making quick decisions without messing up.”

“Second in command?” he questioned, “That clashes quite a bit.”

“I know, that’s why I was thinking about giving this brooch to Hange. They should be here at any moment.”

She pulled it out of her shirt, watching it glow, and then handing it to Jamie.

They were sitting by the stables, keeping watch from down below, while the other Scouts watched from up top, and the Cadets were resting.

“Commander Erwin gave this to you?”

“Yeah.”

“You should keep it then, I think he might have given it to you for other reasons,” he said as he handed it back to her.

As she was doing that, she got another feeling. She was already overwhelmed, but this one hit her even worse.

She immediately got up and ran to an area where she could see the wall. She wasn’t surprised when she saw a titan on top of it. A large one with fur.

_Why is he here so early?_

“Jamie! Do you see that thing on top of the wall?”

“What about it?”

“We need to kill it. Right now.”

“How are we going to-”

“We don’t have a choice. It’s now or never,” she said as she pulled her blades out.

“Got it.”

There was something mentally stopping her from doing that, but it wasn’t long before something physically stopped her also. There was something firm that held her wrist, and stopped her from moving forward.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea… Captain.”

She knew the voice of that person, and by the way he was talking, he was sure that they had figured out their identities. Her eyes widened, looking at Jamie in a way that said she was terrified, but she never showed fear.

It was Reiner.

“Jamie, you should get back.”

She wasn’t looking at him when she said that, but rather looking at the way he held her arm. _Her right arm_.

“What’s the problem?”

“It’s dangerous,” he said nonchalantly.

“Are you sure?”

He nodded, his eyes darting at her. It was a threat, and there was no way out. Instead of standing there, she decided to take useless action.

She swiftly took his other arm, pulling it across his body, then yanking her wrist out of his grip, then grabbing his. With that, she twisted both of his arms, turning him around, and kicking him to the ground. Her foot was placed firmly on his back while she continuously pulled his arm back, breaking his shoulder and causing him to scream in pain.

This was only an opportunity to try and figure out what to do next.

It was less time than she thought.

It was the flash of yellow lighting that hit her arm and knocked her out of her thoughts.

**_to be continued_ **


	41. Faith

The sudden shock pushed her back, as the Armored Titan appeared. She felt weak in the arms and legs as her body flew through the air, hitting the ground hard and then into someone’s arms afterward.

“I got you.”

“Thanks.”

Everything from there on was mainly a blur. She was trying to figure out a plan while running and using her gear to lure the titan away from the Cadets.

The ‘thing’, as she called it, came down from the top of the wall and started to make its way over to them. Her only shot was to lead them away, at least until the rest of the regiment got there.

Hange wasn’t too far away, in fact, they were so close that they heard the titan transform, and rushed over even faster when it did happen.

Ceitara’s arm had given out partially due a nerve being hit by lighting, and to the amount of pressure that she put on it. She didn’t wait too long before she got feeling back, by then figuring out a plan to get the titans away from the Cadets and toward the Scouts who had the gear.

By this point, there was no way to defeat Reiner, but there was also no way to defeat Reiner. Though there was no way to avoid his transformation, Ceitara still blamed herself for putting everyone in danger.

“I’m going to lead Reiner away. I don’t know if he’ll kill me, but I know that he wants to. Keep the Beast as far away from the Cadets as possible and…”

_If Bertholdt transforms, we have no chance at surviving._

It was up to what she thought and observing their relationship, which she didn’t really get to do before.

_If Reiner told Bertholdt that we know, his best bet is to transform. But, if he does, he’ll kill everyone here, including the Cadets that he trained with, and whoever is inside of that Beast. Is he fond of his comrades? Yes, he has to be. Meaning that he won’t transform, so we have a chance to capture him. But, they have to have another comrade, I can feel it. Is it best that I go away and leave them to it? Can I trust them? They’re the Scouts, I should be able to…_

“ _And_ what, Ceitara?” Jamie yelled.

“And watch out for any other titans! Don’t die!”

It sounded like she was asking them to do it instead of ordering. She wasn’t sure of who was going to die, if anyone would, but if they did, she wouldn’t be there to see it. She would be spared from seeing it.

She started by using her gear, and as soon as she left, Hange arrived, blades in hand and ready to fight off anything that would be there.

Like every other mission, Ceitara used her skills that she acquired, first going around to the back of the castle and then moving west, where she could be alone. She didn’t know how to fight Reiner, but she knew that she could outrun him far enough to make it up the wall.

_What is his goal?_

That was the question all along. She didn’t know what he wanted to do, but now that he was in his titan form, he had power over her, and there was nothing that she could do to counterattack. He was so focused on killing her that it seemed like he completely forgot about his other comrade.

\---

His other comrade wasn’t struggling, but that was thanks to the absurd amount of titans that came in. There were too many to count, and the couple of elite were struggling while facing a threat as big as this one. Bertholdt, on the other hand stood with Cadets, posing as one of them, posing as someone who couldn’t help the situation.

_For what?_

What was their goal?

They both knew it was coming, their other comrade, or in this case, the other titan. The other flash of lighting in the darkness, rather in the moonlight that caught their attention.

Which side was this one on?

They knew that it was everything against them, so having an ally…

_An ally._

Their other allies. The entire Scout Regiment. They should be here soon, so maybe if they could just hold out a little longer against what seemed like hundreds of titans, they could stay alive. The newest one was attacking other titans. It was some kind of hope in the injured Scouts eyes, it was better than they were.

Jamie looked behind him, noticing the shape of the titan on top of the wall, looking downward. A familiar sense of panic filled his eyes again.

\---

Ceitara was there, but she was stuck, not in her own thoughts, but on top of the wall. She had gotten there, but damaged her gear in the process.

_This doesn’t make any sense._

She realized that she couldn’t launch the hooks out anymore, and that wasn’t normal, so some kind of tampering needed to be done beforehand in order for this to happen.

_“Tell me, Reiner, what is your goal?”_

She was speaking, but not out loud, more like straight into his head like she did in Trost District with Eren. It wasn’t mind control, that power couldn’t work on titan shifters. It was exclusive, on to the people she chose for it to be on.

He was confused. He knew that she couldn’t read his thoughts, but for some reason, her voice was loud and clear in his head.

_“Why do you want to kill me so bad?”_

_“Because you’re getting in the way.”_

_“In the way of what?”_

He started to move closer, inch by inch, until Ceitara noticed. She was mostly out of energy, and a will to keep fighting the same way. Talking was no fun, and it barely solved anything in this situation.

She thought there was only one decision left. Let faith decide her fate.

And jump off the wall.

**_to be continued_ **


	42. Nothing Ever Lasts Forever

She was at peace again.

There was something about the way that the air hit her back that made it all relaxing. But then there were those strong arms, wrapping around her torso tightly.

“I got you… again.”

_Again? How many times has he done that?_

The ground came not too long after, hitting her back harshly. She looked up at Jamie.

“Are you okay?”

This time it was her asking him. By the way that his face was scrunched up and the way he held his side, it was easy to tell how much pain he was in.

“I’m fine.”

“Let me just-” she reached out a hand again.

He grabbed her wrist before she could heal him, pushing his thumb into her palm so that she couldn’t move it anymore.

“Don’t waste your power on me.”

“Stop it, you’re hurt.”

He turned onto his stomach, propping himself to his knees.

“One thing I’ve never liked about you was that you always thought you can do things...” he held his torso again, this time whimpering in pain, “...by yourself.”

“Stop being stubborn and let me heal you,” her voice strained.

His was strained too, and the spot on his shirt stained blood red.

“I said don’t waste your power on me!”

_What?_

His voice was only strained because of the tears coming from his eyes. He was choked up, and in an enormous amount of pain.

“Back then… I made a promise to myself…”

“What the hell is wrong with you, Jamie?”

“...That I would always protect you..”

Her eyes widened when she saw his, red, and filled with tears. She looked in front of her, noticing the titans not too far away, and the Armored going behind them, seeming like he was fleeing.

“I thought that I wouldn’t find anyone else like you, and I was right.”

_Is he…_

“Wait, please...” she tried to cry, but it came out weaker than she thought.

“Let me do this one last thing for you.”

“Huh?”

Her lungs begged for air as she held her breath, reaching out for him, too weak to get up yet.

“Don’t...Don’t say you’re doing something for me when you’re leaving me here to die!”

He laughed a little, enjoying the bittersweet moment.

“I told you before, Cei. There’s a reason that I know more about you than anyone else. I know you’ll never stop fighting.”

_Because you never changed._

\---

 _You were always the same. You were someone who wanted to actually be around me, and didn’t treat me like a burden, thank you for that_.

“Jamie, come get your dinner.”

_I lived in the richest part of inner Wall Sina. I didn’t know much about my parents, except that they probably didn’t want to see me. As far as I knew I was a mistake, and I was definitely treated like one._

“You useless little brat! Why do you even exist!”

_I was eight the first time someone pushed me to the ground. Before that, they all just slapped me. My siblings, my caretakers, and the maids who made me do most of the work._

_I was never allowed to go outside with others, in fear of being corrupted by their ideologies. My parents thought that I would talk about life at home with school kids and learn that it wasn’t normal. They wanted me to suffer._

_My siblings didn’t live with me, so when they would come, I never knew why, I just knew that they would hurt me in some way, so I always hid from them, and cried, praying to someone that they wouldn’t find me._

_When I was twelve, I met my parents for the first time. They were nice at first, but their mood changed immediately once we were in a room alone. They talked to me about how I was a burden, but for me it was normal, and I had no reaction._

_I never thought of abuse as a good thing, that’s why they would call me a smart kid. Through all of that, I got attached to things easily. Things that wouldn’t hurt me. My stuffed animals, my clothes, my food, and even a candle that was lit in my room. I knew that the candle could burn me, but that was only if I wanted it to._

_I got attached to drawing, and writing. I would make up my own alphabet so that no one could read my feelings on a paper. But, when those things were taken away from me, I didn’t fuss, I just found something else to get attached to._

_It was an endless cycle for fourteen years, and on the fourteenth, I decided that I would leave, I wasn’t wanted there anyway. Due to me being inside, I only found out about the Cadet corps through a leftover newspaper on the table for recruits._

_It said I could become a part of the Military Police if I really wanted to, but why would I stay in here when there was an entire world that I might have never been able to see if I didn’t see that paper?_

_I joined the Cadets soon after that, not with the intention to die, but I didn’t really care if I did. I lost all of my attachments, and became somewhat sadder. Just sad, though. I talked with Cadets, and made friends. Friends: something that I was never able to have._

_Then, not too long after, I met you. You gave me something that I haven’t even thought of before. A different sense of happiness that I knew the concept to, but never experienced it for myself. Maybe it was because you are an angel, or because I saved you._

_Either way, I know you are the thing I love the most._

_And after all of these years, I’ve learned to protect the things I love, and no longer sever my attachments._

\---

“I hope that you’re able to complete your goal. Just remember that I helped you, in some way.”

“Jamie!”

**_to be continued_ **


End file.
